Cave Life
Smile, breathe, and go slowly. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Something is up with me and I’m not quite sure what to think of it. I feel a restlessness within me that is growing a little louder and intense every passing day. It’s not an unhappy sort of feeling because life is pretty great right now. I am forever grateful that every day I get the opportunity to have Jackson re-introduce me to the new, old lessons of childhood. We are making so many sacrifices so that I can be home with him, I seriously love my life.
So, yeah, it’s not unhappiness. “Restless” really is the perfect word. It’s as if the Inner Vanessa is searching for something and can’t quite put her finger on it. I think it all comes back to a need for amazement. I crave to look at something in wonder, feel infinitely small and impossibly large all at the same time. I need to be reminded why we do all of “this,” why it’s all worth it in the end.
I’ve been thinking about Plato’s Cave lately, wondering what life feels like for a prisoner. What would it feel like if you suddenly suspected that the images in front of your face were just representations of the real things? Would you feel angry and cheated? Or helpless and insecure? If only Plato was still around.
It scares me a bit that I’m searching (how could life get any better?!) but there are little hints throughout the day that are leading me in the right direction. Being outside, working on the garden with Jim while Jackson digs at our feet, that helps. Taking walks down the canals, listening to the first sounds of water flowing through them, that helps too. Researching the idea of a local indie craft fair? Makes me all energized and fluttery inside. Going to festivals, laughing with friends, drawing out cute chicken coop designs, talking with the miniature donkey down the road. I walk away from all of those activities feeling alive and in those moments, I remember how beautiful life outside of the cave really is.
Originally published at Indie Shopper. You can comment here or there.