(no subject)
life has been ho hum as of late. lots of playing in the snow. lots of walks at dusk, it's been soooo pretty at night. lots of early bedtimes for me anyways. lots ofleaving my phone of the hook, i just can't face certain people right now. ~ the long and short of it, i can't take my mother and all her physical and emotional problems, they are starting to bleed over onto my life and it sucks...i can't take anymore i am dieing, i am sooo sick, take care of me, i hate your dad, i have no life calls...so i turn off the phone and go outside. it is sad really. i guess i suck and am a horrible person. i know i am a horrible child but she is just too much!!! i go through this ever six or nine months. it is so depressing. she yelled at me for not being close to her. it was crazy. she was all "i want a close bonded family" and i was cold and said " really, well, you should have been thinking about it for the past thorty years" i really wish i hadn't started talking to her again back in my but she ahd my grandmother convinced she was having her left leg amputated, so for nana i started again...bad move she has her legs, was in better health tahn ever, didn't get the attention she thought she deserved ( and a train load of sympathy wouldn't have filled her void) and so she is "sick" again with something new and improved, well, until her doc proves she fine and then she find something else in her personal merck (sp) manual you can be sure. drained and filling rather tired of the bs. my life has never been easy but since leaving home it has been happier, she needs to go away. see theres the evil kid lurking. i know some of you have great family ties and i do too just not with my mom and her husband. i know soem of you reading this probably think cuz she my mom i should stick it out. well i think for my sanity's sake i should wait until you can prove it. it just takes up so much enegry trying to make her feel okay and it is crushed by the next day and i get to start again. so for now i will take a sunbeam nap with the smalls. keep the phone off and play while i ignore her. anyone wanna play??