aaand again.
yeah so today is a day that warrants two entries, and it's interesting cuz those rarely come along. in general, i find i don't quite like those days.
i keep coming back to what might be eddie vedder's most haunting line: "how quick the sun can drop away." things can be so status-quo one moment, and in the very next moment, it all goes topsy-turvy and you get that rollercoaster jittery jumpy too much coffee too much anxiety too much jadedness type nauseating feeling in your stomach. even though things are pretty much okay on the outside, in your head they're not, or maybe in your heart they're not. things feel worse than they logically should, and the reason has obscured itself behind a star-punched midnight canopy, as these things always come at night. the ever elusive night-what-ifs. we meet again, yet it's only been night for 18 minutes.
why do we hate these days so much? everyone's entitled a not-so-perfect day every once in a while, and they probably keep us more appreciative of the good days.
i'm reminded of salman rushdie's novel, "the ground beneath her feet." it's all about what happens when a foundation is shaken, when the ground beneath your feet is made unstable, the impact of instability on the mind, heart, and soul. i guess all i'm looking for is stable ground in any area of my life, and it eludes me. time. i guess it just needs more time.
anyhoo. time to get that recommendation letter from my psychiatry attending and then head to bed, since i'm on call tomorrow. gross. maybe my mind just needs more exposure to people and places outside the hospital walls and its screaming ladies and screaming babies.
peece... but not as yet in my mind, no matter how far i go to trick it into believing so
i keep coming back to what might be eddie vedder's most haunting line: "how quick the sun can drop away." things can be so status-quo one moment, and in the very next moment, it all goes topsy-turvy and you get that rollercoaster jittery jumpy too much coffee too much anxiety too much jadedness type nauseating feeling in your stomach. even though things are pretty much okay on the outside, in your head they're not, or maybe in your heart they're not. things feel worse than they logically should, and the reason has obscured itself behind a star-punched midnight canopy, as these things always come at night. the ever elusive night-what-ifs. we meet again, yet it's only been night for 18 minutes.
why do we hate these days so much? everyone's entitled a not-so-perfect day every once in a while, and they probably keep us more appreciative of the good days.
i'm reminded of salman rushdie's novel, "the ground beneath her feet." it's all about what happens when a foundation is shaken, when the ground beneath your feet is made unstable, the impact of instability on the mind, heart, and soul. i guess all i'm looking for is stable ground in any area of my life, and it eludes me. time. i guess it just needs more time.
anyhoo. time to get that recommendation letter from my psychiatry attending and then head to bed, since i'm on call tomorrow. gross. maybe my mind just needs more exposure to people and places outside the hospital walls and its screaming ladies and screaming babies.
peece... but not as yet in my mind, no matter how far i go to trick it into believing so