don’t get mad.
in the car today is when it started. when it began to build up. I could picture myself finally speaking out to all of them. those pal that I trust still time after time. that I love still. those ppl that are my family and friends. I could see myself winning. I was winning the battle for once. I could predict their every answer and could stop them from speaking it. as if I had fought this battle once b4. then I fell back into reality, the world in which I never win. I always listen give my advice and get shut out when I am in need. its always about u. I don’t care its not anything I can stop now. ive done what ive done. but I cant help but this why cant I be the one he likes. why is it always you. y do u always tell me about these boyfriends, or ask am I pretty. you only ask me so I can speak the words of pain to you. the words I shun to hear from any mouth none the less my own. but I am forced, I am ur pet, your slave. you own me. you get your boyfriends like u always wanted. but then the inevitable happens you break up. u cant go on. then I come and help you. I tell you how you are pretty and how the guys love you. I am there to bring back your self esteem which was so abruptly taken away by him. but then its too long its been 2 weeks since uve had a bf, that’s not right. u want another. but most of all you want to know from ur friend how u are above all and I am just there, I am ur lackey, the shit on the ground. the pal love you, or they want to be ur friend. you know this but time after time force me to tell you. with every word I fell the chill crawl down my back. what am I to do. this is what ive done and I have to deal with it. a hole I dug for myself.
this is how I feel.
this is how I feel.