(no subject)
well my day sucked again. as usual. I miss steven so much. I wish we were still together. He told me he loved me today at jrtc. That made me a little happy. 2005-09-01 01:35 baby everything will be the same again I promise. I dont want you to worry about that or me right now. I know Ive been an asshole to you for like the past week, and Ive done some fucked up shit. But theres just things going through my head that I need to straighten out on my own for awhile. You're not worthless. Im the one thats worthless for doing this shit to you. But I'm only going to get worse and I dont want to drag you down with me. I just need some time to sort my shit out, because you dont deserve to be treated the way that I have treated you. Yeah I know you've fucked up a few times, but I'm willing to forgive you if you can just give me some time to think shit through. I love you and I dont want to hurt you anymore than I already have... <<< I hope he dont break that promise. He's never broke a promise to me before. I miss him so fuckin much. I lay in bed at night crying for him and ask myself 'why' all the fuckin time. everytime i get somethin good goin in my life it all fucks up. I guess im not meant to have anything good in my life. i just called steven, hes at the volley ball game. that just makes things even worse. everywhere laura is, he is. maybe he chose her over me. i dont know. so.......... wtf. I wish i could just get over this. apparently he dont love and want to be with me like he said. and now that i think of it, he did break a promise, he said that he would never leave me for nothing and look what the fuck happend. oh well i still love him. im just goin to kill myself. life is just too difficult for me to handle. well i guess ill go sit and look at the letters he wrote me. and cry somemore.
peace.
~*.: I love you Steven Eric :.*~