: ( im stupid.
im really depressed. i wish Steven would talk to me like he used to.things are changin. i wish that they wouldnt though.ive been crying for like the past 2 weeks non stop. i feel like a fuckin retard. i really fucked up. im just so fuckin stupid. i love him so much, i cant even put it into words. i hope that he'll forgive me for always fuckin up. i try really hard not to, but it always fuckin happens. but hes the 'only' boy that ive tried this hard to straightn up for. im really am trying. i am officially drug free. so no more drugs, cigs, beer. i actually want to quit. its not worth it. steven can be my anti drug:). i miss him so much. hes changed. i wish things were like they used to be, when we never argued and shit. i hope he dont leave me. ill kill myself. seriously. i couldnt picture myself without him now. i hate the way i treat him. hes real nice to me but i treat him like shit. and yes... i got me a reality check. i am really sorry for doing that shit to him. but he wont accept my apologies. but i love him so much. im gettn my act together. im just sick of being the bad guy in all of this. i wish that he would just forgive me for everything and me and him just start out new. this time im not going to fuck ANYTHING at all, up. i hope he'll give me one more chance. because i will make sure that nothin goes wrong. i dont even think that he likes me anymore. because he wont even hug/kiss me anymore. and when i say that" i love you" he'll get quiet and say "i'll talk to you later" and when he calls it like he dont even want to talk to me. we used to talk on the phone for like a long time and now its like 5 min. we dont even spend time together anymore. my day consists of school, home, homework, shower, and bed. " NO STEVEN " well i got to go do some homework. and i guess hate myself some more. more than everybody already does.
peace.
peace.