tW♉,

[bullsit]

[ aUDIO HOOK, oR, uM PHONE,]

So, uh, hey Mayfield, I know that you are, um, kind of busy with your human mating rituals, which is kind of weird, but I guess that I already knew that. I mean that I knew that humans sure are weird, and not really anything at all about the mating rituals, which are also strange, but also not at all what I was going to

Comments

[bethebetterman]

You wanna go incognito to learn about humans?

If that's the game you wanna play, you're not gonna get many people "on your team" talkin' like that. You just sound unnatural.

[bullsit]

Oh, uh, sorry. I guess that how how I sound, um, pretty normally, but did not really consider that humans would do it another way. How do I sound more, uh, natural?

[bethebetterman]

Hm. I could teach you. I was human once, so I fancy I know a thing or two about how they talk.

First of all, stop apologizing for everything. Humans are ignorant, and most of the time they don't think anything is their fault.

[bullsit]

Oh, okay, sorry for, uh, being sorry.

Oh, oops. Uhm, sorry for, uh, saying sorry, for being sorry and oh, um, woah, I am not very good at this.

[bethebetterman]

Hahaha! No kidding, you're gonna need a lot of work before you pass.

Hey, maybe I'll be your voice coach. Yeah, you'll be the most nonchalant human impersonator to ever walk these streets when I'm done with you!

[bullsit]

Wow, that is a pretty exciting, uh, idea! I think, maybe, if I am a good human impersonator, it will match my human legs, and I might, um, get even more self-confidence from this.

[bethebetterman]

Sure, whatever. But it's not gonna be a cakewalk, you'll have to commit if you're really up to the challenge.

[bullsit]

If it, uh, does not involving too much, um, grievous injury or uh, killing, I think I am totally ready for the, uum, challenge.

[bethebetterman]

It shouldn't, but I can't make any promises.

All right, as your official voice coach, your first assignment is to go out into the world, find some humans, and observe their conversations. But discreetly, got it?

Also, Tavros was it? Just out of curiosity, what are you if not human?

[bullsit]

Okay, I will definitely do that, and practice being extremely discreet and, um, blending in! I, uh, even found this neat hat, that the adult male human wears sometimes, so I will be, um, well hidden!

Oh, right, I am a Troll! Though, I guess, not anymore, though probably I will be again, at some point in the future.

[bethebetterman]

... Troll, huh? I gotta admit, I've never seen one of those before. And you're not exactly what I would've expected one to be like.

But whatever. Have fun with your assignment kiddo, and report back to me when you're done. I'll have part two all planned out by then.

[bullsit]

I was not, um, expecting you to know what it was, at all, or anything, so that is okay, but I think I am not the, uuuuh, best example of what we are like, mostly. Though I guess, since we are the only ones left, that there aren't that many more to meet. Well, um, that is probably a good thing anyway, for the humans.

[bethebetterman]

What, are you an endangered species now or something? 'Cause if that's the case, you've probably got a lot more to worry about than gettin' on with humans.

And who's "we"? There's more of you little trolls running around?

[bullsit]

Oh, I didn't really think of it, um, in that way, but now that you have said it, it is probably true. But, uh, yes, there are 12 of us, though I'm not sure we are all running, in any way. Maybe sitting, or, um, walking, or falling down the stairs.