tW♉,

[bullsit]

[ aUDIO HOOK, oR, uM PHONE,]

So, uh, hey Mayfield, I know that you are, um, kind of busy with your human mating rituals, which is kind of weird, but I guess that I already knew that. I mean that I knew that humans sure are weird, and not really anything at all about the mating rituals, which are also strange, but also not at all what I was going to

Comments

[AUDIO HOOK]

[kinda_crabby]

Wait, no, damn it, stupid! Don't hang up the audio hook! I need to talk to you!

[bullsit]

Oh, no, I haven't, though it is mostly because I can't remember, um, which way it has to go on the stand to turn it off.

[kinda_crabby]

Wow, that is really stupid. It only goes on two ways, how hard can it be to put the audio hook--augh, never mind! This isn't going the way I want at all! This is a terrible way to start an apology.

Okay. I'm assuming Vriska talked to you and said certain things that happened that I didn't say myself when we talked before, right?

[bullsit]

. . . Um, yes, this is a thing that has happened, though, I wish it hadn't.

[kinda_crabby]

Yeah, welcome to the Gog damn club. I figured you had enough shit to deal with here and falling down the stairs apparently so I decided not to tell you just who Vriska offed. Seemed like a good idea at the time, considering the odds of the Queen Bitch herself showing up were pretty slim! But once again fate kicks me right in the bonebulge.

Past me was suffering from his typical bout of stupidity. I should have told you from the get-go instead of having you learn it from her. Sorry, Tavros.

[bullsit]

Oh, um, it's okay, since I probably should have, uh, asked, but then I guess that I did not really want to know, because it was already extremely sad about, uh, everyone else.

Anyway, I guess I am, uh, more worried now about it, um, happening again, now that she is here.

[kinda_crabby]

The bitch doesn't have access to the God Tiers here, so she's just as screwed as we are, which means if it comes down to it beating the crap out of her will be easier. I've already ordered Aradia to do it if necessary.

I'm the grubfucking leader and I am not having some incorrigible she-bitch that crawled out of the cosmos's waste chute decimate MY team just so she can get off to it.

I also have a God damned personal order from your feared and respected leader, for you and you alone, so you better open up those audial canals of yours.

[bullsit]

. . . Um, yes, they are definitely open and, uh, attentive.

[kinda_crabby]

DON'T DIE.

I DON'T CARE WHAT SHIT SHE PULLS, WHAT SHE SAYS, OR HOW SHE'LL TRY TO MANIPULATE THAT RIDICULOUSLY PATHETIC SELF-ESTEEM OF YOURS, BUT SHE CAN SUCK ON MY HEAVING, SWEATY BONEBULDGE. I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE TO GIVE A SURNAME, TITLE, AND AN EXTENDED FAMILY TO YOUR CONFIDENCE--YOU ARE NOT TO LET HER WALK ALL OVER YOU AND KILL YOU AGAIN.

DO YOU GET THAT?! THAT IS A GENUINE, FULL-BLOWN, LEADERLY ORDER.

[bullsit]

That is, uh, going to take a lot of pretending, and, um, fake confidence, and I'm not sure these human legs are, uh, up to it, but. Um.

I will try.

[kinda_crabby]

Coming from you, I'll accept that as a good enough response.

[bullsit]

. . . Uh, I know you don't, um, normally, but maybe do you want to play with us? It, uh, might be fun?