(no subject)
i just made myself relize so much shit. i guess i knew it all along but when you start saying it to someone else it just hit me and now i cant stop crying. i cant take it anymore. since 9th grade all i ever wanted was a serious relationship and i havent even got close. honestly i would rather go out with someone for like 8months and have them break my heart in the end then be alone. cause at least i would have those memories. right now all i can remember is my last relationship which was in 8th fucking grade for 5 months. i want it so bad.. why cant i just find it? its not fair. the guys that i actually start to like alot.. i scare away with all this shit. why doesnt anything work out for me? this valentines day is going to be fun...