Rebel // 63 [Voice]
[Major Kisaragi returned to Luceti a few days ago.
Major... Noel can't remember the last time she had seen or spoken to him. It had been months, surely, but he had clearly forgotten his time from before. Noel can't help but feel relieved, yet... she's still going to remain on-guard. Why? Because she lives with Ragna. It's silly, honestly. She defected from the NOL months ago and yet a part of her is calling herself a bad subordinate for acting this way to her superior officer. For being afraid of him. For being dishonest to him by living under the same roof as his brother. Hadn't she already been through this before? Was Nami's berating to her about this not enough? She knows now that she shouldn't trust the major (particularly when it concerns Ragna). She shouldn't feel guilty and yet she... does? What? Sometimes, Noel wonders if living with the guy is really the easier option.
...stupid, stupid, stupid.
And maybe, considering the last few weeks, her mood isn't helping her judgment. Yes--that experiment again. Something that was nearly a month ago now. Perhaps it's because there's been nothing to get these things off of her mind, but that experiment... it's still bothering her. She's still afraid to run into the people she interacted with back there. Isn't that stupid? Why does she always... act like that? When there's a problem, she runs away. For some reason, she sees it fit to just lock her feelings away and avoid the issue altogether.
Maybe if she just thought about something else instead... without thinking, she opens the journal and thinks to herself for a few passing seconds.
She always sees people asking questions, but she's always been too afraid to try it herself. Things like...]
"Would you stay here if..." [...no, no, NO. What is she doing!? WHO IS SHE EVEN SPEAKING TO!?!] --N-No, I'm sorry! That was a mistake! [...] Forget it!
[Sob. She slams the journal shut, but knowing Noel she'll eventually get curious and check back anyway and pray whatever response it may have received wasn't bad.
She needs to do something better than that. Isn't there anything... well, maybe? Kind of? But she doesn't know if...
"...get that experiment out of our heads..."
...]
[Filtered to Luke // 80% 100%]
Luke...? Th... [...wait, no. She's having second thoughts, but it's too late. Why did she do this? It's not like they're good friends, and he'll just think she's weird and... sigh.] Uhh... I-I-It's me, Noel. [GOOD START.] I... I was just wondering if you wanted to... um... y-you know... that, um... thing where... [...she's so nervous that she forgot the word. --Or not.]
Oh! I mean-- yes! Do you want to... hang out? ...it's only if you'd like! B-Because I completely understand if you're too busy, and I'm not exactly sure why I'm even... or if it's too... [...] Ahhhhh, nevermind! I'll talk to you later!
[/JOURNAL SLAM x2. What is wrong with her today!?]
Major... Noel can't remember the last time she had seen or spoken to him. It had been months, surely, but he had clearly forgotten his time from before. Noel can't help but feel relieved, yet... she's still going to remain on-guard. Why? Because she lives with Ragna. It's silly, honestly. She defected from the NOL months ago and yet a part of her is calling herself a bad subordinate for acting this way to her superior officer. For being afraid of him. For being dishonest to him by living under the same roof as his brother. Hadn't she already been through this before? Was Nami's berating to her about this not enough? She knows now that she shouldn't trust the major (particularly when it concerns Ragna). She shouldn't feel guilty and yet she... does? What? Sometimes, Noel wonders if living with the guy is really the easier option.
...stupid, stupid, stupid.
And maybe, considering the last few weeks, her mood isn't helping her judgment. Yes--that experiment again. Something that was nearly a month ago now. Perhaps it's because there's been nothing to get these things off of her mind, but that experiment... it's still bothering her. She's still afraid to run into the people she interacted with back there. Isn't that stupid? Why does she always... act like that? When there's a problem, she runs away. For some reason, she sees it fit to just lock her feelings away and avoid the issue altogether.
Maybe if she just thought about something else instead... without thinking, she opens the journal and thinks to herself for a few passing seconds.
She always sees people asking questions, but she's always been too afraid to try it herself. Things like...]
"Would you stay here if..." [...no, no, NO. What is she doing!? WHO IS SHE EVEN SPEAKING TO!?!] --N-No, I'm sorry! That was a mistake! [...] Forget it!
[Sob. She slams the journal shut, but knowing Noel she'll eventually get curious and check back anyway and pray whatever response it may have received wasn't bad.
She needs to do something better than that. Isn't there anything... well, maybe? Kind of? But she doesn't know if...
"...get that experiment out of our heads..."
...]
[Filtered to Luke // 80% 100%]
Luke...? Th... [...wait, no. She's having second thoughts, but it's too late. Why did she do this? It's not like they're good friends, and he'll just think she's weird and... sigh.] Uhh... I-I-It's me, Noel. [GOOD START.] I... I was just wondering if you wanted to... um... y-you know... that, um... thing where... [...she's so nervous that she forgot the word. --Or not.]
Oh! I mean-- yes! Do you want to... hang out? ...it's only if you'd like! B-Because I completely understand if you're too busy, and I'm not exactly sure why I'm even... or if it's too... [...] Ahhhhh, nevermind! I'll talk to you later!
[/JOURNAL SLAM x2. What is wrong with her today!?]