Oh so sad...
He hugged me... I was at my locker and he asked if he could have a hug and he hugged me! I'm losing it... I can't concentrate anymore; I can't focus on school and i can't do homework... I don't know what to do! I'm so depressed and I feel as though the only thing inside me is tears and sadness but i just can't bring myself to cry because I'm scared of admitting I'm really that sad and that alone! I don't want to give in to my sadness I just keep trying to push it further down inside of me and I keep trying to put up the façade that I’m happy and ok; but I’m not!
I’ve recently learned that there are several people who have been frequently talking about me behind my back and it seriously hurts my feelings. It’s not like these people were really my friends or anything… But I at least thought they respected me a little bit… I guess not though…
Apparently I’m not a person who deserves respect from even people whom with I have had a lasting relationship with. If anyone reading this knows what has been going on in my life recently then you know who I’m talking about. Every time I see him (the one who hugged me) I get sad. When we talk it always turns to me being the bad guy. He’s the one who did it; he made the decision to end things, not me. But he’s always trying to make me feel guilty!
I don’t understand why he messes with my emotions this way. First, he does all he can to make me feel like shit and gets all upset at me. Then, he turns around and cries! He expects me to just hold him or something when all he’s doing is trying to make me feel guilty! It’s like all he wants is to freak me out!
And the hugs! Three times… He did that three times! It makes me uncomfortable to hug him and I’ve told him that but it’s like he wants me to be uncomfortable! He just keeps getting all touchy-feely with me all the time and I can’t take it! He keeps acting the way he did when we were together and he know I don’t like it, but I think that’s why he does it! I don’t know what to do! What can I say to him? I’m losing my mind!
I’ve recently learned that there are several people who have been frequently talking about me behind my back and it seriously hurts my feelings. It’s not like these people were really my friends or anything… But I at least thought they respected me a little bit… I guess not though…
Apparently I’m not a person who deserves respect from even people whom with I have had a lasting relationship with. If anyone reading this knows what has been going on in my life recently then you know who I’m talking about. Every time I see him (the one who hugged me) I get sad. When we talk it always turns to me being the bad guy. He’s the one who did it; he made the decision to end things, not me. But he’s always trying to make me feel guilty!
I don’t understand why he messes with my emotions this way. First, he does all he can to make me feel like shit and gets all upset at me. Then, he turns around and cries! He expects me to just hold him or something when all he’s doing is trying to make me feel guilty! It’s like all he wants is to freak me out!
And the hugs! Three times… He did that three times! It makes me uncomfortable to hug him and I’ve told him that but it’s like he wants me to be uncomfortable! He just keeps getting all touchy-feely with me all the time and I can’t take it! He keeps acting the way he did when we were together and he know I don’t like it, but I think that’s why he does it! I don’t know what to do! What can I say to him? I’m losing my mind!