I proclaim satisFATion with life
The addition of a new baby birdie to my household has sent my mothering urges into overdrive. I am feeling constant pangs of guilt over leaving the poor scaredy all alone, feeling swells of pride whenever he does something new (like manage to climb over a stuffed animal), and also I am spontaneously lactating everywhere. Baby name is Sprats, which is some kind of Russian sardine (even though, to me, he looks like a lobster tail).
Last night I applied fake tanner in the hopes of looking browned. Earlier, my friend cried because she is a raising a seeing eye dog that she will have to part with in a few months. I told her about the blind guy who unwittingly crosses the major highway by my work, narrowly missing cars and trucks, and reminded her how much fun little Odessa will have playing similar pranks on her disabled master.
My sister is moving to Orlando!! She is thrilled at the possibility of being closer to BabyLand, Georgia. I am not kidding and that place is as full of fake bloated baby corpses as her apartment.
Come to my friend Greg's show.
BREAKING NEWS: I just discovered, while at work, that my shirt is transparent. More on this horrendous story as it develops.
Last night I applied fake tanner in the hopes of looking browned. Earlier, my friend cried because she is a raising a seeing eye dog that she will have to part with in a few months. I told her about the blind guy who unwittingly crosses the major highway by my work, narrowly missing cars and trucks, and reminded her how much fun little Odessa will have playing similar pranks on her disabled master.
My sister is moving to Orlando!! She is thrilled at the possibility of being closer to BabyLand, Georgia. I am not kidding and that place is as full of fake bloated baby corpses as her apartment.
Come to my friend Greg's show.
BREAKING NEWS: I just discovered, while at work, that my shirt is transparent. More on this horrendous story as it develops.