I Went to the Hosptial, and I am Crazy
Diagnosis: I'm Crazy
I did not fall asleep until almost five in the morning last night, and so I slept through my alarm and did not get to the hospital until about ten in the morning. I went straight to the psychiatry clinic thing and once again found myself completely confused. I got in some random line that seemed to be pretty popular. I asked the lady in front of me what the line was for and she said it was to pay. So, I got out of line and walked around trying to figure out what the heck was going on. I started asking everyone I saw if they spoke English, I was getting that desperate.
Eventually a nurse saw how frustrated I was and she went to find someone to help me. She came back with a doctor who speaks English! I told him I wanted to see a doctor because I cannot sleep and am having anxiety problems. We chatted for a little, and then he spoke some wicked fast Chinese with these three nurses behind him. He turned to me and said he will help me today. So, he got the registration forms for new patients and filled it for me. Then, he took me into his office and we chatted for a little bit about what I'm doing here and what not.
Then, he sent me out into the waiting room while he finished "my report". He came out and said in a few minutes, the other doctor will be able to see me. So, I waited for a bit and did my homework for today. Not too much after I finished, I was called into the very last room at the end of the hall. I go in, and there is a very old looking doctor guy sitting at his big desk with five students sitting around him. I forgot going to a "university hospital" means you have students hearing about how you're crazy, too. He started speaking only Chinese to me, and I understood everything he was saying, but I interrupted him and said in Chinese that he had better speak English because my Chinese is not that good.
He took out the report thing the other doctor just wrote about me and started to talk about it with me, except he kept on using freaking Chinese! He would speak Chinese but use English words for words I would probably not know. Anyway, one memorable moment from my chat with him was when he said what sounded like, "Don't you have any foreigner crap you can do?" I stared at him and asked him to say it again, and again it sounded like "Foreigner crap, you know, a crap that foreigners have." (I really wanted to say, "What, like diarrhea?") This was all in English, so I said "Could you just say that in Chinese instead?" Turns out he was trying to ask if there was a Foreigner CLUB at my university. He ended up giving me a prescription for Ambien (a sleeping pill), but said only take it for the time being. He said he wants me to start exercising, making friends, and trying to find some foreigner crap to do.
On my way out the original doctor that was helping me walked me all the way to the main lobby where you pay for your visit and pick-up your prescriptions. I got into line, and he was talking to me still. "I went to the states when I was your age to study English, and from the sound of it, I went through the same exact thing you are going through. Except, I didn't have the guts to try and go to the hospital!" I laughed and thanked him a million trillion times and he said, "no no no! I just know how you feel and I know that when I was in the states if I had someone to help me I would have felt a lot better, so it is my pleasure to help you!" He then wrote down his home phone number and cell phone number and said if I ever am in need of help to not hesitate to call him. I thanked him a zillion times again, and as he walked away this woman sitting behind me who looked totally native Taiwanese says in perfect no-accent English "You are very lucky, you know that?" I looked at her and said "Yeah. I am quuuite aware, I can't believe how lucky I am." and she nods her head and says again "You are very very lucky." I smiled and looked forward, then when I turned my head back to where she was sitting, she was gone. It was as if she was a ghost or something. Even though that is a little scary sounding, I left the hospital (though $3,000NT poorer) with a much brighter view of Taiwan and this oddly optimistic attitude.
I did not fall asleep until almost five in the morning last night, and so I slept through my alarm and did not get to the hospital until about ten in the morning. I went straight to the psychiatry clinic thing and once again found myself completely confused. I got in some random line that seemed to be pretty popular. I asked the lady in front of me what the line was for and she said it was to pay. So, I got out of line and walked around trying to figure out what the heck was going on. I started asking everyone I saw if they spoke English, I was getting that desperate.
Eventually a nurse saw how frustrated I was and she went to find someone to help me. She came back with a doctor who speaks English! I told him I wanted to see a doctor because I cannot sleep and am having anxiety problems. We chatted for a little, and then he spoke some wicked fast Chinese with these three nurses behind him. He turned to me and said he will help me today. So, he got the registration forms for new patients and filled it for me. Then, he took me into his office and we chatted for a little bit about what I'm doing here and what not.
Then, he sent me out into the waiting room while he finished "my report". He came out and said in a few minutes, the other doctor will be able to see me. So, I waited for a bit and did my homework for today. Not too much after I finished, I was called into the very last room at the end of the hall. I go in, and there is a very old looking doctor guy sitting at his big desk with five students sitting around him. I forgot going to a "university hospital" means you have students hearing about how you're crazy, too. He started speaking only Chinese to me, and I understood everything he was saying, but I interrupted him and said in Chinese that he had better speak English because my Chinese is not that good.
He took out the report thing the other doctor just wrote about me and started to talk about it with me, except he kept on using freaking Chinese! He would speak Chinese but use English words for words I would probably not know. Anyway, one memorable moment from my chat with him was when he said what sounded like, "Don't you have any foreigner crap you can do?" I stared at him and asked him to say it again, and again it sounded like "Foreigner crap, you know, a crap that foreigners have." (I really wanted to say, "What, like diarrhea?") This was all in English, so I said "Could you just say that in Chinese instead?" Turns out he was trying to ask if there was a Foreigner CLUB at my university. He ended up giving me a prescription for Ambien (a sleeping pill), but said only take it for the time being. He said he wants me to start exercising, making friends, and trying to find some foreigner crap to do.
On my way out the original doctor that was helping me walked me all the way to the main lobby where you pay for your visit and pick-up your prescriptions. I got into line, and he was talking to me still. "I went to the states when I was your age to study English, and from the sound of it, I went through the same exact thing you are going through. Except, I didn't have the guts to try and go to the hospital!" I laughed and thanked him a million trillion times and he said, "no no no! I just know how you feel and I know that when I was in the states if I had someone to help me I would have felt a lot better, so it is my pleasure to help you!" He then wrote down his home phone number and cell phone number and said if I ever am in need of help to not hesitate to call him. I thanked him a zillion times again, and as he walked away this woman sitting behind me who looked totally native Taiwanese says in perfect no-accent English "You are very lucky, you know that?" I looked at her and said "Yeah. I am quuuite aware, I can't believe how lucky I am." and she nods her head and says again "You are very very lucky." I smiled and looked forward, then when I turned my head back to where she was sitting, she was gone. It was as if she was a ghost or something. Even though that is a little scary sounding, I left the hospital (though $3,000NT poorer) with a much brighter view of Taiwan and this oddly optimistic attitude.