When does the pain stop?
I remember when everything was simple, and when people said what they meant. Now everything is so fucked up. Why do we lie? What are we trying to hide? When we think we are in love, how do we truly know? Sure, you can say love you till you are blue in the face, but when do we really mean it? I recently ended a year and a half relationship, because I thought that I was no longer "in love" with the guy i was seeing, but is that the truth? Do we get tired of the same old thing day in and day out? People say that we are constantly putting up a facade to protect ourselves. But why? Why can't we just say what we feel? And why is it that people who know they don't want to get into a relationship fool around with people who do want to get into a relationship? Is there such a thing as commitment? Is there any relationship safe enough that you can just be yourself, and why is it that once you find the perfect guy, you think that things are going to get fucked up? I am constantly questioning why Dave is with me. People leave all the time. I don't want to get hurt anymore, but my mask is down, and this is the real me, so why am I so scared still? When I was growing up, I always pictured the guy I would be with, and I think I found him and that scares me. I have only had two true loves in my life, and I am with one of them now. I just don't want to get hurt anymore. When did I grow up? I remember wishing I could do all these things, and now Im being forced into the world and trying to cling to my childhood. What happens now?