i really am sorry.
okay. i know that i'm not as bad as some people. there are people who, say, for example, let the kids they are teaching how to swim drown in the deep end while they are twirling in the shallow end. there are people who, say, for example, kill their dog after two weeks and then go right back out and adopt another one from a DIFFERENT county. i am not as bad nor as stupid as these people.
what i am is a) too trusting and b) too afraid of my own life.
a) when i trust you as a friend i tell you everything. well, everything about other people. i don't trust anyone with my personal shit. not really. i'm pretty sure if you knew any of my personal shit you'd run screaming in the other direction. this is because i am bat-shit motherfucking insane. no seriously. so, other than maybe eric and my parents like no one gets to see that side of me. and even they are only toeing the edge of a very deep and very wide lake of insanity.
but what it comes down to is, i trust you with the secrets i know even if they aren't my secrets. i expect that if i tell you that a certain someone definitely snorted three lines of coke last wednesday that you won't spread that shit around.
b) i am too afraid of the how mundane my own life is to think for even a minute of telling a personal story. i mean, i'll relate to you the funny shit that happened that one day when i drank 6 diet cokes and couldn't find a bathroom . . . but that's about as far as it'll go.
the thing is, i'm trusting the wrong people and i'm trusting too many people. it's going to be motherfucking hard but i have got to reign my shit in. no kidding people.
someone told me the other day that i gossip more than anyone she's ever met and that i can't possibly expect her to pretend she doesn't know the things i've told her. the thing is? i TOTALLY do. i mean, i really, totally do. and that is absolutely my fault.
now, i'm drowning in guilt because it's true. i gossip. jesus. i hear something interesting and i HAVE to repeat it. and that is what my friends are for. i repeat it to you and it gets sealed up in a friendship seal of silence. or so i thought. but, i get it. i'm obsessive and you're sick of hearing my gossip and the seal of silence doesn't actually exist.
i'm going to return to my pit of self-pity now and i'm going to make a promise i am sure to break: i will not repeat the story you told me when we were both drunk off so-co and diet coke. i will not repeat the story you told me when we were both drunk off so-co and diet coke and finally, i will not repeat the story you told me when we were both drunk off so-co and diet coke.
lo siento.
what i am is a) too trusting and b) too afraid of my own life.
a) when i trust you as a friend i tell you everything. well, everything about other people. i don't trust anyone with my personal shit. not really. i'm pretty sure if you knew any of my personal shit you'd run screaming in the other direction. this is because i am bat-shit motherfucking insane. no seriously. so, other than maybe eric and my parents like no one gets to see that side of me. and even they are only toeing the edge of a very deep and very wide lake of insanity.
but what it comes down to is, i trust you with the secrets i know even if they aren't my secrets. i expect that if i tell you that a certain someone definitely snorted three lines of coke last wednesday that you won't spread that shit around.
b) i am too afraid of the how mundane my own life is to think for even a minute of telling a personal story. i mean, i'll relate to you the funny shit that happened that one day when i drank 6 diet cokes and couldn't find a bathroom . . . but that's about as far as it'll go.
the thing is, i'm trusting the wrong people and i'm trusting too many people. it's going to be motherfucking hard but i have got to reign my shit in. no kidding people.
someone told me the other day that i gossip more than anyone she's ever met and that i can't possibly expect her to pretend she doesn't know the things i've told her. the thing is? i TOTALLY do. i mean, i really, totally do. and that is absolutely my fault.
now, i'm drowning in guilt because it's true. i gossip. jesus. i hear something interesting and i HAVE to repeat it. and that is what my friends are for. i repeat it to you and it gets sealed up in a friendship seal of silence. or so i thought. but, i get it. i'm obsessive and you're sick of hearing my gossip and the seal of silence doesn't actually exist.
i'm going to return to my pit of self-pity now and i'm going to make a promise i am sure to break: i will not repeat the story you told me when we were both drunk off so-co and diet coke. i will not repeat the story you told me when we were both drunk off so-co and diet coke and finally, i will not repeat the story you told me when we were both drunk off so-co and diet coke.
lo siento.