SAMPLE
Everything was in dissaray. No. Everything was just shit. I thought I had found solace in Cordelia. I thought I had found...love with her. We even concieved a child. Who is now dead. She was never beautiful to me. But she was my daughter and that always won out over beauty...Didn't it always? If a daughter asks her father if she's pretty does the father not lie because he loves her so much?
I'll never tell them that her face had always been covered in vermin from the minute she left Cordelia's womb and plunged Cordelia into a coma. But I loved her, not just because of her influence but because she was concieved from me.
I don't know what to think anymore. My lover, my love was not who she said she was. She was being controlled in order to bring about Jasmine. Does that mean that Cordelia didn't really have feelings for me and that I was just manipulated? This world is more twisted then I ever thought it would be.
To top everything lately my father, no, Angelus is still on the side of evil. He's the one who destroyed my daughter. Not even because she ate people which, I wasn't always ok with but what's a few lives next to your kin? No, Angelus had to die. There was no chance whatsoever in bringing my father back out of that thing. So I'd fight him. Give it all I've got because that's all I have left.
But I can't return to them. My so called family. Not even Cordelia. I have to do this on my own. They wouldn't understand and they'd only discourage me. They can never know. Any of it. Anything I knew and anything I felt. I know one thing. I feel betrayed, and confused, and just empty. Jasmine filled that gaping hole I had been having since Holtz and throwing Angel into the ocean. And now I'm empty again. I don't even have Cordy.
I have...no one.
I'll never tell them that her face had always been covered in vermin from the minute she left Cordelia's womb and plunged Cordelia into a coma. But I loved her, not just because of her influence but because she was concieved from me.
I don't know what to think anymore. My lover, my love was not who she said she was. She was being controlled in order to bring about Jasmine. Does that mean that Cordelia didn't really have feelings for me and that I was just manipulated? This world is more twisted then I ever thought it would be.
To top everything lately my father, no, Angelus is still on the side of evil. He's the one who destroyed my daughter. Not even because she ate people which, I wasn't always ok with but what's a few lives next to your kin? No, Angelus had to die. There was no chance whatsoever in bringing my father back out of that thing. So I'd fight him. Give it all I've got because that's all I have left.
But I can't return to them. My so called family. Not even Cordelia. I have to do this on my own. They wouldn't understand and they'd only discourage me. They can never know. Any of it. Anything I knew and anything I felt. I know one thing. I feel betrayed, and confused, and just empty. Jasmine filled that gaping hole I had been having since Holtz and throwing Angel into the ocean. And now I'm empty again. I don't even have Cordy.
I have...no one.