My decision, menachem avel
So, in the end I made a financial decision. I didn’t want to waste an extra co-pay for a specialist and a day (or more) of work if I didn’t have to (we get half pay at the end of the year if we don’t use all our days). And pay extra in parking / tunnel or railroad which I wouldn’t need to do in Brooklyn. So I stuck with the second appointment. I called the dr early this morning, hoping to get a machine. I got the secretary who I spoke to the other day and she was pretty upset at me. Admonishing me in her Russian accent about how she and the dr are going to just have to look at each other for an hour now. I felt bad because I should have done it sooner. But I wasn’t sure until late last night. And part of me also thought the Brooklyn people might take care of it (though I kind of thought they wouldn’t also). Also the other people mentioned they schedule a few at the same time so I am surprised she said they would just have to stare at each other.
Whatever. I was probably in the wrong but I do have to look out for myself. I hope they don’t just have to stare at each other for an hour. And I am going to try to get an earlier appointment too.
In the end, I ended up taking my sister so sleeping over in the city wasn’t an option. Plus, we went to my mom’s apartment to look at the kitchen and - woah! I forgot she was also painting the whole apartment. There was paint dust everywhere and I could barely get through. Yeah, the sleeping over thing would not have worked.
The shiva was ….nice. I know its weird to call it that but it was. It was nice to go out with my sister, just the two of us and we met my brother and SIL at the apartment. We feel a kinship with people going through this, like we’ve been there and done that and we know what you are going through. We can talk and even laugh about certain death aspects that many others who never lost a parent can’t do. Anyway, it was good to see the older daughter who lives in EY with like 8 kids (she brought the youngest two). I’m so happy I live close to all my family. I do miss my father every time I am menachem avel someone, especially someone around my age who lost their own father.