FIC: Bedtime Story
Summary: While the dust slowly drifts downward, Laura and Bill search in the rubble for their relationship.
Rating: T+
Word Count: 1,800
Genre: Romance, Drama, Angst
Series: Love in a Time of War: 17
Setting: Six of OneA/N: I decided to do something different for the Season Four stories in this series. There’re so many wonderful stories already ( Read more... )
Rating: T+
Word Count: 1,800
Genre: Romance, Drama, Angst
Series: Love in a Time of War: 17
Setting: Six of OneA/N: I decided to do something different for the Season Four stories in this series. There’re so many wonderful stories already ( Read more... )
Comments 24
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I'm not a complete fanfic writing freak! I pretty much wrote it back at Christmas and have been caressing on it ever since...in my free time. *shifting eyes*
I LOVE this experimental style & voice of yours.
Second person can be tough to read, I know, so I was a bit worried. But then figured, what the frak. Heh.
Hell, that's your most powerful ending yet. And you got it spot on, with no dangling extra line for me to hack away...
*gasp* In fact, I added it recently! Needed to match with the hatch closing to start the story. :D
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Gods, I'm depressed now. You need to post me some light fluffy porn to counter this!
Seriously, it was lovely. And sad (oh, I said that). And I love all the 'little' things. Sulky sons etc. I'm not sure if I agree that Bill only loved her for her looks! LOL.
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Imagine how depressing it was to write it! I dunno how far I can make it in season four. The PAIN! I gotta at least get to The Hub.
You need to post me some light fluffy porn to counter this!
In my spare time. *twitch*
I'm not sure if I agree that Bill only loved her for her looks! LOL.
Well, that's Laura's opinion in her present state of mind, bitter, scared, back-pedaling. Good thing Elosha's patiently waiting in her back of her mind to slap her around. ;)
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Brushing your teeth makes your gums bleed.
You could go look for her, a red-eyed Admiral in his robe wavering through the corridors, but you'll spare her that indignity.
Your marriage lasted six years past its expiration date because you knew when to take the couch.
you wore nothing but your grin.
her thinning thighs, between the legs of an old woman.
she'll never get old.
"I want to help you; that's what I'm supposed to do."
who kept her numerous children in a peetka nut to protect them from the sly raven.
You wouldn’t be surprised if he peed in a corner.
The conflict on his face asks if this was what you had wanted and couldn’t do in his quarters.
He’s at the desk, turning the lamp on and off, checking to see if it’s strong enough. He knows you need a bright light.
“So you don’t need anything from me?”
Bullshit, he loves you just for your mind.
“Kiss me goodbye.”
throatlatch
He makes his grumpy noise again
You’re nearly goneI love the lack of overt reaction to ( ... )
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I'm assuming this was a typo because it shifts to first person, but I love the image it presents:
you yank off your uniform and drag on our robe
Totally a typo, but it stays. Because it is their robe of brown coziness.
“I’m fine. I can take things back to Colonial One too.”
Laura, honey, I love you, but sometimes you can be a bitch. Kick a guy in the nuts while he's down, why don't you?
She takes that very fine knife and slips it between the ribs. It hardly hurts at all.
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Happy because, well, it's an awesome series. And sad because I'll have to relive all the Laura angst of season 4 again. And knowing you do not shy away from the angst, I am prepared for tears.
That said, I like this new style you're using. Second person POV never bothers me. And you use it so well here, I didn't even realise that you used it until someone pointed it out in the comments.
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Me too! I'm saying, I can't do this...and then here I am, watching Escape Frakkin' Velocity, taking notes.
I didn't even realise that you used it until someone pointed it out in the comments.
Good!
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