Comments | bugsfic: FIC: Torn Asunder (3/4)

bugsfic

FIC: Torn Asunder (3/4)

Jul 08, 2009 21:30

Rating: MA
Word Count: 1,400
Summary: Adama kicks some people off their chairs.
Setting: Post-episode for Torn
Genre: Angst, Romance, Drama, Smut
Series: Love in a Time of War: 4

Chapter 3:

I bet Bill’s got a shortcut to the Ward Room, Laura thought as he dragged her down a dark corridor. Great, now he’s going to chew my ass out ( Read more... )

romance, series, a/r fic, drama, angst, smut

Comments 20

(The comment has been removed)

bugsfic July 9 2009, 20:20:47 UTC

To me, the distinction is, this isn't something Bill would normally do with Laura at this point in his life. A lusty sailor, been around the star system a time or two, yeah. But the way he's contained himself since The Fall, the state she's put him in, something finally popped. (so to speak.)

But he comes back to his senses soon enough (to Laura's slight regret.)

I wanted to work with the idea that you hear people saying, I don't know how I keep ending up in this type of relationship, and I always want to say, well, what's the common denominator? You. So maybe you're forming this same relationship again and again. That's how I see Laura at this point.

longlivelaura July 9 2009, 16:19:15 UTC

I think this might be the first time I've ever read ladder sex - and I liked it. It worked - to show Bill's frustration with Laura and his lack of self control. I like the angst you've written in Laura having wanted - and enjoyed - the ladder sex while Bill feels as though he's taken advantage of her. Next??

bugsfic July 9 2009, 20:26:59 UTC

Everyone had taken all the other sex locations; I was left with the ladder! It seemed crazy enough to fit into the characters' state of mind.

I didn't have Laura's POV at first, but then I really wanted to show how they were seeing two different things. Bill had to go to his default of guilt, while this was showing Laura that perhaps she's had a few relationship issues in that past, and what does she want to do about it?

kastari July 9 2009, 20:51:29 UTC

Whoa! Angry pissed off sex, but she let him do it. Loved them in the tube with her on the ladder & he shoe falling off ( ... )

bugsfic July 10 2009, 02:31:06 UTC

I really wanted to write something urgent and scary in the situation and it seems I succeeded!

I've got the checklist of smut, you see, so now I can check off Angry!Sex....uh....*shifting eyes* I'm an artiste, I mean! *adjusting beret*

kastari July 10 2009, 05:01:32 UTC

It really was a good piece. And I'm not just saying that. If I didn't think so, I wouldn't say it.

bugsfic July 10 2009, 06:07:13 UTC

Awww...*pushing dirt with toe* Okay, I'll just say thanks....but I really do have a smut checklist.

liz_love July 9 2009, 20:57:49 UTC

Damn! You have got to stop writing fic that always makes me speechless. I feel ridiculous not being able to give concrete and smart feedback.

One thing though: you have Laura & Bill in a very complex situation. You do truly understand the characters because you perfectly recreate and show us Laura's fear of commitment and Bill's ever present anger and guilt.

bugsfic July 10 2009, 02:35:11 UTC

I'm glad that you can see the touchstones that I have to keep going back to with these characters. Bill's guilt is so hard for me, because it rarely feels justified for me, but I gotta work with what I was given!

And that was still pretty concrete and smart. It helps so much to even hear a line of what worked.

peelthelabel July 9 2009, 21:08:04 UTC

THIS WAS AMAZING!!
So greatly written.

And there is so much going on here! I just feel this might be one off my favorite fics so far, it just has right about everything!

bugsfic July 10 2009, 02:38:15 UTC

As I write, the number of threads to seem to multiply! That wasn't my intention, but it's getting larger and larger; it's very exciting to write, and I'm really glad some people are coming along for the ride.