uh.....
So mylife has been sucked away by final fantasy online....So worth it though. I've spent 120 dollars in this weekalone. I'm saving for a car right? Sure as hell doesnt look like it. I need to put my money in my savings account.
Money is the one thing that is depressing me lately. It was one of the problems, that I had in highschool especially the last few months. So much stress, I cried I dont know how many times. Gave a damnand busted my ass for people who really didnt car or gave the illusion that they did. It was ruff the last year. You know I felt like nothing, just like I waisted all these years off school because I would never be able to afford it. Iguess I should just forget it though but sometimes feelings just dont go away, they unfortunatly linger for awhile. Whether it be bad work day or a crush....espically a damn crush.
I've been given a chance now, thats why I should just get over it but I just get nervous.
So I let my mouse out yesterday. His ears are still torn to shit, but my lil baby Balthesar has all his fur back on his back. He's stillnot very comfortable with me but he'll come um and sniff me sometimes. So I'm making progress!
OOH MY LIL SHITS ESCAPED TOO! Not really lil shits but I was surprised. I was like hmmm, I think I should let my rats, Furca and Teabags out. Igo to my room open my door. Furca is looking up horrifiedat me from the cage lid. Teabags in on the wood floor. I was like, SHIT! What if the run undr mybed then boom my rats are lost forever. But teabags sweety that he is, I called his name and he came right up to me. So I scooped him up placed him on my bed. I grabbed furca who completely spazed. I eventually put them bkc in the cage cause, good ol Teabags crawled down my godzilla toy back to the floor lmost made it under the bed but I grabbed him by the tail. He wasn't too happy about that but he forgave me. Gave me kisses.
Lil kiyo, my favorite rat. I let him out, ohhhhhh it was so adorable. I put my covers over me, called his name. He ran right towards myface. I could feel him moving. He was right where my face was and was trying to dig towards me! *SNIFF!* I after while let him under he moved right to my face and gave me kisses on my nose. * SNIFFULES* I luvvvvvv you lil Kiyo!
GRAAAAA I was at one of those huge walmarts with my sister. Found some cute shorts and this guy! OH THIS FUCKING SHIT HEAD! Looked at my sister who had a septom ring, for those of you who dont know what that is, it could be compared to um I guess a bull ring. Well this acne faced ugly son of a bitch tried to be sneaky talking about my sister's sempton ring pointing and laughing tell his friend. So I kept staring him down, oh the raged filled me.
I'm a happy persoon loud because I'm trying to force all my hatered and anger of people away. I have a lot of it, you know those kids that shot up the schools, oh I so depreatly wanted to do that when I was in my middle school. So many people have made me feel likeshit in my short life. I thought that I was nothing, fat stupid, ugly, boring. I was even made fun of because I LIKED TO DRAW and did it alot..... I been sexually harrased by guys who thought hmm she isn't pretty but I guess i could get a quick feel. Just disrespected most of myshort life. So thats why I was so different so loud in highschool I was around people i really enjoyed. I try to force the anger and hatered so far down.
But, everyonce in awhile it bubbles forward. I become blind, like not to long ago some lil girl gave me and my friends shit. You can make fun of me I'll take it store it.....but to get on my friends......I pushed the girl underwater and held her there. I let her up because it waas stupid but I became so uncontrolable after that bretahing hard. I smoked a clove and half and was in a fucking trance.
Well the guy made another round to get a better look atmy sister. My sister wondered what was wrong with me because I became really angry and was breathing hard. the guy to my enjoyment walked by...... If I didnt spring at him hehe. I screamed its called a FUCING SEMPTON RING!OK A SEMPTON RING IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO KNOW IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO FUCKING SEE! The guy the look was great, Istill was a lil pumped by anger was looking desparatly for people to yyell at. I'm over it now but its not really healthy to store the nger but i have no outlet. Im so dramatic and torn right kiddies. I knwo my issues are kind of stupid comparedto most but there still my issues.
Money is the one thing that is depressing me lately. It was one of the problems, that I had in highschool especially the last few months. So much stress, I cried I dont know how many times. Gave a damnand busted my ass for people who really didnt car or gave the illusion that they did. It was ruff the last year. You know I felt like nothing, just like I waisted all these years off school because I would never be able to afford it. Iguess I should just forget it though but sometimes feelings just dont go away, they unfortunatly linger for awhile. Whether it be bad work day or a crush....espically a damn crush.
I've been given a chance now, thats why I should just get over it but I just get nervous.
So I let my mouse out yesterday. His ears are still torn to shit, but my lil baby Balthesar has all his fur back on his back. He's stillnot very comfortable with me but he'll come um and sniff me sometimes. So I'm making progress!
OOH MY LIL SHITS ESCAPED TOO! Not really lil shits but I was surprised. I was like hmmm, I think I should let my rats, Furca and Teabags out. Igo to my room open my door. Furca is looking up horrifiedat me from the cage lid. Teabags in on the wood floor. I was like, SHIT! What if the run undr mybed then boom my rats are lost forever. But teabags sweety that he is, I called his name and he came right up to me. So I scooped him up placed him on my bed. I grabbed furca who completely spazed. I eventually put them bkc in the cage cause, good ol Teabags crawled down my godzilla toy back to the floor lmost made it under the bed but I grabbed him by the tail. He wasn't too happy about that but he forgave me. Gave me kisses.
Lil kiyo, my favorite rat. I let him out, ohhhhhh it was so adorable. I put my covers over me, called his name. He ran right towards myface. I could feel him moving. He was right where my face was and was trying to dig towards me! *SNIFF!* I after while let him under he moved right to my face and gave me kisses on my nose. * SNIFFULES* I luvvvvvv you lil Kiyo!
GRAAAAA I was at one of those huge walmarts with my sister. Found some cute shorts and this guy! OH THIS FUCKING SHIT HEAD! Looked at my sister who had a septom ring, for those of you who dont know what that is, it could be compared to um I guess a bull ring. Well this acne faced ugly son of a bitch tried to be sneaky talking about my sister's sempton ring pointing and laughing tell his friend. So I kept staring him down, oh the raged filled me.
I'm a happy persoon loud because I'm trying to force all my hatered and anger of people away. I have a lot of it, you know those kids that shot up the schools, oh I so depreatly wanted to do that when I was in my middle school. So many people have made me feel likeshit in my short life. I thought that I was nothing, fat stupid, ugly, boring. I was even made fun of because I LIKED TO DRAW and did it alot..... I been sexually harrased by guys who thought hmm she isn't pretty but I guess i could get a quick feel. Just disrespected most of myshort life. So thats why I was so different so loud in highschool I was around people i really enjoyed. I try to force the anger and hatered so far down.
But, everyonce in awhile it bubbles forward. I become blind, like not to long ago some lil girl gave me and my friends shit. You can make fun of me I'll take it store it.....but to get on my friends......I pushed the girl underwater and held her there. I let her up because it waas stupid but I became so uncontrolable after that bretahing hard. I smoked a clove and half and was in a fucking trance.
Well the guy made another round to get a better look atmy sister. My sister wondered what was wrong with me because I became really angry and was breathing hard. the guy to my enjoyment walked by...... If I didnt spring at him hehe. I screamed its called a FUCING SEMPTON RING!OK A SEMPTON RING IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO KNOW IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO FUCKING SEE! The guy the look was great, Istill was a lil pumped by anger was looking desparatly for people to yyell at. I'm over it now but its not really healthy to store the nger but i have no outlet. Im so dramatic and torn right kiddies. I knwo my issues are kind of stupid comparedto most but there still my issues.