(no subject)
I have come to a liberating discovery! I am a moron! Yes, it is true. No, it is not a moment of self depreciation (begging someone to come and contradict me so that I can feel better about myself). The thought comes at a great relief to me... because it means that I can renounce responsibility ;-).
For the last several months I have been growing in my anxiety (and agitation) concerning several situations. You see, I am a "worrier"; one of those people who frets about life, both theirs and others. The calling of a "worrier" is a high one. We must become involved in every situation around us, study it, focus on it... in the bright hope that WE can avert disaster.
Thus, I have been exhausting myself in the vain pursuit of understanding my friends and family's lives so that I can help them through their problems. However, while this has seemed noble to me being a worrier has a dark side. It means that we honestly believe that we can control the situation. That we can understand other people's situations and that we can make the best choices. When other people failed to take my advice or continued to make "bad" choices I become even more concerned (no doubt because of impending disaster) and thus the cycle continues.
Then last night I had a great argument with my brother (the yelling and screaming kind) over a situation that I felt needed my guidance. Through the course of that "discussion" I came to great realization that I really "didn't get it". I didn't understand my brother's situation, his choices, or his motivation. I had passed judgment and prescribed a course of action based on minimal data and conjecture (this is the point where I assumed moron status).
I am not saying that it is wrong to try to give advice or to be concerned about other people. But I turned it from an art form into a weapon of mass destruction. There is a line between caring and controlling.
Thus the bliss of my newfound moron status. I don't understand, with godlike clarity, what is going on in other's lives. There is no way that I ever really could. So rather than assuming that the situation is out of control because I do not understand another's choices I could simply wait, watch, and listen. Maybe I am not personally responsible for the universe's well being. And maybe disaster isn't as nearby as my worrier consciousness asserts ;).
For some of you this may seem obvious. But for the Type A, perfectionistic, worrier this is a ground breaking idea. I take responsibility for everything! Once I actually apologized for a party that was canceled because of rain (like I could control the rain!). Therefore, to all of you that I have been offering "aggressive advice" recently... I apologize. I should have realized my own limitations :).
Perhaps now the Bug won't be quite so "buggy" ;).
For the last several months I have been growing in my anxiety (and agitation) concerning several situations. You see, I am a "worrier"; one of those people who frets about life, both theirs and others. The calling of a "worrier" is a high one. We must become involved in every situation around us, study it, focus on it... in the bright hope that WE can avert disaster.
Thus, I have been exhausting myself in the vain pursuit of understanding my friends and family's lives so that I can help them through their problems. However, while this has seemed noble to me being a worrier has a dark side. It means that we honestly believe that we can control the situation. That we can understand other people's situations and that we can make the best choices. When other people failed to take my advice or continued to make "bad" choices I become even more concerned (no doubt because of impending disaster) and thus the cycle continues.
Then last night I had a great argument with my brother (the yelling and screaming kind) over a situation that I felt needed my guidance. Through the course of that "discussion" I came to great realization that I really "didn't get it". I didn't understand my brother's situation, his choices, or his motivation. I had passed judgment and prescribed a course of action based on minimal data and conjecture (this is the point where I assumed moron status).
I am not saying that it is wrong to try to give advice or to be concerned about other people. But I turned it from an art form into a weapon of mass destruction. There is a line between caring and controlling.
Thus the bliss of my newfound moron status. I don't understand, with godlike clarity, what is going on in other's lives. There is no way that I ever really could. So rather than assuming that the situation is out of control because I do not understand another's choices I could simply wait, watch, and listen. Maybe I am not personally responsible for the universe's well being. And maybe disaster isn't as nearby as my worrier consciousness asserts ;).
For some of you this may seem obvious. But for the Type A, perfectionistic, worrier this is a ground breaking idea. I take responsibility for everything! Once I actually apologized for a party that was canceled because of rain (like I could control the rain!). Therefore, to all of you that I have been offering "aggressive advice" recently... I apologize. I should have realized my own limitations :).
Perhaps now the Bug won't be quite so "buggy" ;).