I don't understand.
I've held off as long as I can, but now I have to have an emo post. I'm sorry.
I'm suffering from some sort of funk. I say that, but I'm not even sure it's a funk, because that implies that it's something non-permanent. I don't know how to have friends. I don't know if it's something I lack or something I lost, but I don't have it. I guess I just can't stop thinking or something. I don't know what's different about me, but I'd like to change it without changing who I am. I just don't know if it can be changed, or if it's a change I can make. Mostly, I can't describe it, and that really bothers me. It only serves to prove my differentness. If only I could explain it to someone without feeling like I'm trying to describe the color blue to a blind person. Which isn't to say that I think I'm superior, or that people don't understand because they're stupid. I just can't explain it. I'm sorry. This post already seems like a poor idea.
In more immediate news, I'm trying to work on my second Computer Science project, but I'm having trouble getting started. Also, I'm going to appointments at University Counseling Services every week. It makes me feel better for a few days, but after a while I forget why everything seemed so much more clear and right then. Anyway, its still worth it, and besides, it's a work in progress. Just like me.
Again, sorry for the unreadability of this post. I just needed to feel like anyone out there had heard this. And now they have. I'll have to keep working on this.
I'm suffering from some sort of funk. I say that, but I'm not even sure it's a funk, because that implies that it's something non-permanent. I don't know how to have friends. I don't know if it's something I lack or something I lost, but I don't have it. I guess I just can't stop thinking or something. I don't know what's different about me, but I'd like to change it without changing who I am. I just don't know if it can be changed, or if it's a change I can make. Mostly, I can't describe it, and that really bothers me. It only serves to prove my differentness. If only I could explain it to someone without feeling like I'm trying to describe the color blue to a blind person. Which isn't to say that I think I'm superior, or that people don't understand because they're stupid. I just can't explain it. I'm sorry. This post already seems like a poor idea.
In more immediate news, I'm trying to work on my second Computer Science project, but I'm having trouble getting started. Also, I'm going to appointments at University Counseling Services every week. It makes me feel better for a few days, but after a while I forget why everything seemed so much more clear and right then. Anyway, its still worth it, and besides, it's a work in progress. Just like me.
Again, sorry for the unreadability of this post. I just needed to feel like anyone out there had heard this. And now they have. I'll have to keep working on this.