Oct 19, 2007 22:17
A lot of people died, tonight. Three of them were the closet people I had to a family, along with Dawn. There were so many things going on in my head. Dawn, stood by the bodies, with Connor, and I stood by Spike's side, with Cordy and Angel.
Sometimes, you don't realize how far apart people have grown over the years. Angel has, obviously, changed over the years. I've missed out on so much in his life. At this very moment, I felt out of place, in his presence. I felt like me and Spike were intruding on a moment between Cordy and Angel. They had their own lives together in LA, with close friends. Angel had a family, just like I did. Now, we both lost people we loved. Cordy? From what I've heard, Cordy was in a coma. Now, she's back. I didn't know what happened. Why she was in a coma, is beyond me. Maybe, Angel or Cordy will explain it to me. I dunno. Is it even my business? Different emotions were going through me, as I looked at Angel. He never took his eyes away from Cordy. I know, deep down, there is something else going on here. Something deeper than friendship.
Just as I was coming to terms with Angel, possibly, moving completely on, I saw Spike. Spike. I saw him, right before the Hellmouth crumbled on him. He was, literally, on fire. He died. And, here he was, standing in front of me. It turns out, the amulet Spike wore, brought him back to life. He decided to stay here in LA with Angel. I'm still hurt that he didn't tell me he was alive. I mean, this is something I would want to know. Spike has a place in my heart. He knows. Why did he feel like he couldn't tell me?
All these thoughts had to be put in the back burner. Spike was going to kiss me. God. I can't kiss Spike, with Willow, Xander, and Giles dead a few feet from me. This can't happen. Not now. What was he thinking? What was I thinking.
"Spike. W-We can't do this. Not right now. We have to move the bodies. There's no telling what else is out here." There. That was stern and I-I made my point.
Tomorrow, can not come soon enough. I want this whole day to be over. I realize, tomorrow, I will mourn my friends. My family. All the tears I want to shed, refuse to come out, right now. There's too much to think about. We have to help the survivors and move our dead loved ones. Being a slayer comes with it's drawbacks. It's about the mission. Mourning has to be done on my own time. Right now, I had to focus. I couldn't let anything blur my focus. I had to be strong for Dawn. I didn't want her to see me breakdown. She was crying, with Connor. I could see her. One of us, had to be strong for the other. I wanted to comfort her. Be there for her. I couldn't. If I did, I would lose it.
"Let's go." I looked at Spike. I took another glance at Angel and Cordy. They had to deal with the same thing, tomorrow. I looked down. Tomorrow was going to be another bad day. The day when everything hits you all at once. Yeah, I was so looking forward to that. "I guess we can take them back to..." Growls, interrupted my sentence. My head snapped up. Demons, came running around the corner.
"This is not happening. I thought we killed them all. Great, they don't look too happy. This should be fun." My head turned to Spike. Then, I looked back at the demons. We started charging at them, before they could get the upper hand. I started to swing at anything in my way. One demon punched me. I grabbed him by the neck and threw him up against the wall. The next demon, I back-handed. These demons were determined to kill us. I could feel it in their hits. They were more aggressive. Caught off guard, another demon upper-cut me and I flew a few feet and fell to the ground with a loud grunt. My whole body hurt. I was trying to compose myself to get up. The same demon was coming toward me with enormous speed. "Spike!" My leg sprung up and kicked the demon. It bought me enough time to get up. We needed weapons. A weapon. Something, if we wanted to get out of this situation.
[Spike]