Could Have Had It All Chapter 3

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Title: Could Have Had It All Bvts/Spn  Chapter 3 
Author: Noturbaby
Fandoms: Supernatural, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Rating: PG-13 - R
Warnings: None (eventual het sex)
Pairings: Dean /Buffy, Sam/Dawn, Willow/Oz, Willow/Tara, Xander/Anya Most BtVS characters make an appearance.

Summary: Buffy and Dean met in High School and fell in love. College, a curse, Dawn, and Buffy's death and John Winchester challenge their love. Set in episode 2.1 of Supernatural, In My Time of Dying, but containing flashbacks to seasons 4 and 5 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

It is set in the year 2004 instead of 2006. The only other change made to SPN 2.1, besides adding Buffy characters, is to have all three Winchesters unconscious upon arrival at the hospital. The established relationship between the Winchesters and the Scoobies is based on High School Sweethearts and Second Chances.

Previous parts


Most of this chapter is a flashback to season 4 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It references episode This Year's Girl. I took liberties with the dynamic of Riley and Buffy's relationship.

Shiloh County Hospital- 2004

Buffy stood at the window in Dean's hospital room, looking out, but not really noticing anything that was happening on the other side of the pane. Her thoughts were consumed by the man laying in the bed only a few feet from her. She was certain she had felt something in the hall, something that reminded her so strongly of Dean that if she turned around she'd find him standing there.

Buffy faced the bed. "Can you hear me?" she asked in a voice just above a whisper. "I thought maybe -." Walking to the edge of the bed, she shook his leg and spoke up. "Hey, Dean, wake up. Come on, wake up, you stubborn ass. Wake up and fight with me. I know you've got to be angry with me, so come on, Dean wake up and yell at me."

Dean leaned against the wall, staring at her. "Why would I be angry, Buffy? You're not real. I'm pretty sure you're a drug induced hallucination. I mean, look at that guy." He nodded towards his body in the bed. "He's so messed up he could be imagining anything, even you." He looked back at Buffy and felt a small smile form. "You look tired, princess. Aren't you getting any rest in the afterlife?"

Buffy sighed resignedly. She tugged at the charm on her necklace.

After a few minutes of studying her, Dean came to a conclusion. "You know, I get it now, why I can see you, why I can feel you," Dean said softly as small smile formed. "It's like that movie line you used to say. How'd it go?" Dean approached her, aching to comfort her. "'Death doesn't stop true love; only delays it for a while.'" He looked at his body laying in the hospital bed. He watched the lights on the monitor. "Is that why you're here, to take me to where ever we go next?" he asked turning to Buffy. "Do I have to decide where I want to be? With you or with Sam and my dad?"

Sunnydale, November, 1999

Dean didn't put much stock in college or college students, but one thing they did know was how to throw a party. The past few days were painful for Dean; first there had been Halloween and the fear of losing Buffy at the hands of the demon, and then there was the anniversary of his mother's death. This was the first year he had spent it away from Sam. When Buffy told him about a mid week party at Lowell House to celebrate the end of midterms, Dean was grateful for the distraction.

"You two have a lot of sex, don't you," Anya said to Buffy and Dean as she and Xander joined them. Both Buffy and Dean glared at Xander in response. "Well, you do, it's obvious. Buffy's in a much better mood than before Dean arrived and Dean looks quite satisfied, like a man that's recently had the hot and sweaty sex."

"Anya, dear, we talked about this, remember? Some things are personal, private," Xander said quietly to his girlfriend.

Anya scoffed. "Oh, Xander, look at them. It's hardly a secret that they've been sexing it up."

"Anya!" Buffy hissed.

Dean wiped his face. "Dude, make her stop."

"Anya -"

"Xander, I'm just saying maybe Dean could give you some tips. You know - for endurance. After all, he can keep up with the slayer" Anya whispered.

While Buffy turned beet red, Dean struggled not to laugh, and Xander groaned. "My stamina's fine."

"I didn't say it wasn't, Pookie. I only said that I haven't had the crazy sweaty marathon sex in decades, but I want to and I want to have it with you," Anya whined. "Apparently, they do and as your friends, they should offer their help."

"On that note, we'll be getting more drinks," Buffy said as she grabbed Dean's arm and led him away from the other couple.

As they walked away they heard Anya ask, "Is alcohol important for the sweaty -"

Dean held Buffy close to his side, kissed her temple and whispered, "Anya's right. I am happy and satisfied."

Buffy blushed, but was too content herself to feel embarrassed. She was so in love with Dean that the past few days had felt like a private slice of heaven just for them. She was beginning to wonder how she'd get along without him when he left at the end of the week.

As they pushed passed a group of students, a girl touched Dean's arm. "Dean?"

Dean turned to the girl but didn't recognize her. "Yeah?"

"Ohmigod, it is you! Dean!" she squealed and attempted to put her arms around him. "I didn't know you went to school here."

"I don't," Dean answered, without releasing Buffy's hand. He looked at his girlfriend in confusion, before facing the girl. "I'm sorry but I don't -"

The girl pulled out of her embrace, surprised that Dean hadn't returned it. "You don't remember me?" the girl asked in apparent disbelief.

"If I had a dollar for every girl that - ," Dean wisely stopped talking as Buffy pulled away from him. "Buffy," he called after her, but she gave him a tight smile and continued to the makeshift bar. He frowned and faced the girl. "I'm here visiting my girlfriend. It was nice to see you but I gotta go."

He caught up to Buffy and put his arm around her. "You have a girl in every port, don't you?" Buffy teased hoping it didn't sound like she was accusing him of anything.

Dean didn't take the bait. Instead, he leaned in for a kiss. "You know you're my only girl." Buffy could see the honesty in his eyes and it made her heart beat quicker. She felt so lucky that he loved her as much as she loved him.

"Doesn't remember me, huh? Well, I'll make it so he never forgets me," the girl muttered under her breath as she stalked away.

From across the room, Anya noticed a snap of ozone and she immediately became concerned. Someone had arrived. Her search ended with the girl from Dean's past and the tall woman by her side. Anya hurried over hoping she could prevent a tragedy. A demon shouldn't work at a party attended by the slayer.

"Marissa, what an unwelcome surprise. What are you doing here?" Anya kept her voice low as she looked around to determine the demon's target.

"Anyanka, I heard you went native. Why don't you run along and stay out of my way, I'm working." The demon Marissa turned to the blond from Dean's past. "Go on, dear, you're doing so well."

The girl glared at Dean. "And pain. I want him to feel physical pain, too."

"Done. Anything else?"

Anya gasped when she realized the victim of the curse. "Marissa, don't do this. He's a hunter. She's the slayer. When they find out who was behind this, they won't hesitate to kill you."

"They won't find out. I'm not sloppy like you," the demon retorted. "What else, dear, make it good."

"You can't," Anya interrupted again. "They're soul mates" Anya blurted and prayed the warning would be enough. Interfering with soul mates was prohibited unless D'Hoffryn ordered it.

The blond girl turned to the demon. "Good. I hope they are, that will make it all the more painful. Bind their souls together. They can't have happiness together and they can't find it with another."

"As you desire, so it is done," the demon Marissa said with a gleaming eyes. "Now for my payment," the demon began.

"D'Hoffryn will be furious when he hears about this," Anya warned.

"Then, he can't hear about it. Anyanka you are hereby forbidden to ever broach the subject of this curse."

Anya sulked away, astounded by what had just happened, but she could see no way to stop it and no way to help. All she could do was sit back and watch the destruction.

Destruction arrived in the form of Riley Finn.

The teaching assistant smiled when he saw one of his favorite students arrive at the bar. "Buffy, glad you could make it. Are you having a good time?"

"Yeah, Riley, thanks for inviting us. Riley Finn, this is my boyfriend, Dean," Buffy said turning to Dean. "Dean this is Riley, my psych T.A."

"Nice to finally meet you, Dean. I've heard a lot about you," Riley said with a welcoming smile and his hand out to shake.

Dean looked the other man over and ignored the proffered hand. "Wish I could say the same," he countered and walked away.

Puzzled by Dean's behavior, Buffy made an excuse and followed him. "What was that about?" she demanded, grabbing Dean's arm and forcing him to face her.

Dean's chest clenched when his eyes met hers, but he didn't let that stop him. "Why did you bring me here? Did you just want me to see all the guys that want to sleep with you the moment I leave?"

"What are you talking about?"

"That Riley guy? More than just your T.A., isn't he? He's Mr. Normal all American guy you've always wanted."

"What? No. And you're one to talk. Have we ever gone anywhere where there wasn't a girl you've slept with?"

"Right, I forgot. You're perfect and you get to judge me for everything I've ever done, even if it's before we met."

"I'm not perfect, but at least I don't have delusions of grandeur." Buffy walked out the door.

Dean chased after her. "Me? I have delusions?" He grabbed her arm to make her face him, but she pulled free. "I'm not the one wasting my life going to college."

That forced Buffy's attention. "Wasting -"

"Well how do you explain this stupid attempt at 'normal'? How is college preparing you for your future? You already have a job, a calling. How exactly does college prepare a slayer for her future? You gonna force art history on some demon and hope it stops killing people? Or maybe you can use what you learn in Psych 101 and talk them to death."

"Oh, you would think getting an education is a waste of time. You'd rather con somebody out of their hard earned money than earn any yourself."

As the fight escalated, Buffy's friends gathered hoping to stop them. Willow stepped closer. "Buffy, Dean, stop. What happened?"

The two barely spared her a glance and in unison said, "Stay out of this, Willow."

"At least I'm planning for my future, Dean. What is your future? What are you going to do once your dad has gotten his revenge? Where's your GED going to take you then?"

"You don't have a future, Buffy. You're the slayer until you die."

That was enough for Xander. He stepped up and grabbed Dean's arm. "Dean, stop, man." For the briefest moment, Xander saw panic in his friend's eyes.

But, once again, Dean pulled free and confronted Buffy. "You've blown off the Watcher's Council. You've blown off Giles. You're the one not taking your future seriously."

Buffy's expression hardened and she stepped up to Dean. "The one thing I do know about my future: you're not in it." She shoved passed him and made for her dorm.

"Got that right," Dean muttered as he, too, stormed away.

The moment Dean had turned the corner, he fell to his knees and retched. Pain like he had never known seared through his body. All he wanted was to get to Buffy and beg forgiveness. He knew he didn't mean to say what he said, but he also knew that part of him meant what he said.

In her dorm, Buffy fumed and paced until Willow arrived. "Who does he think he is? I hate him."

"No you don't. You two are just," Willow shrugged."You'll work it out."

"No. Not this time. He always makes me feel so -ARGH!" Buffy yelled. "I tell him that I love him, but it's not enough. He just told me that he loved me and two seconds later, we're screaming at each other."

"Call him," Willow suggested. "Call him and he'll come back and the two of you can talk and work things out. I can stay with Oz for a few days."

"No. This time he crawls back to me or we're done for good. I'm tired of being the only one working at this relationship." Buffy tossed the framed picture of her and Dean into the bottom drawer of her desk and wiped her eyes. She wasn't going to cry over Dean Winchester ever again.

For three months, every card, every letter, every gift had been returned or refused. Every call had been met with tones informing him that the number had been changed to an unpublished number. It was enough to make Dean give up. For three months he tried; he was convinced if he could talk with her, he and Buffy would work things out.

When Dean had finally worked up the nerve to drive to Sunnydale and see Buffy face to face, he found her walking hand in hand with Riley Finn. She was smiling and Riley seemed to be laughing at something she said. He followed them as they crossed the campus. When they entered the house Riley shared on campus, Dean felt himself shatter.

The next month found the Winchesters in northern Wisconsin. Wealthy snowmobilers from Illinois had gone missing. Their families blamed the locals, the locals blamed liquor and lack of knowledge of the trails and lakes.

However, John Winchester and the elders of the Lac Du Flambeau tribe knew the truth: a wendigo was responsible for the disappearances.

The tribe welcomed John's help, but in order to hunt on their sacred land, John and Dean needed to under go a ritual cleansing. As they were about to begin, a tribe elder refused Dean's entrance to the sweat lodge claiming the boy was cursed.

"What? You're crazy, I am not cursed," Dean insisted, but his father wasn't coming to his defense.

"Maybe you are," Sam said. "You've been acting strangely since before Christmas."

"Have not."

"Have to. You haven't even been eating like you used to," Sam pointed out.

"This true?" John asked studying his eldest son.

"No." Dean glared at Sam. "I've been eating just fine."

"Really?" Sam asked with a clear challenge in his voice. "When was the last time you had a cheeseburger? Or some pie?"

John looked almost shocked, but Dean only shrugged. "How long has this been going on?" John demanded.

Before Dean could answer, the tribe elder pointed to him and spoke again. "The boy's soul's not right. Big chunk of it is missing. He can not hunt on our land."

"What? You're wrong. I'm fine," Dean insisted again.

John shook his head, "Don't be disrespect the man, Dean. He's a shaman. If he says you're cursed, maybe we should listen to him and see what we can do to remove the curse." John turned to the holy man. "Can you help him? Can the curse be removed?"

The old man squinted at Dean and slowly circled him. "Yes. But to regain the missing part of his soul, he must return to where he lost it."

"Great. Didn't know it was missing, so I don't know where I lost it," Dean complained. He hoped his father was just humoring the old man.

"Sunnydale," Sam answered simply, almost laughing at his brother's expression when he said it. "You know I'm right. Think about it, where else could it be?"

"No. Buffy might hate me, but she wouldn't curse me."

"It didn't have to be Buffy, anyone could have cursed you."

"Damn," Dean whined slumping against the wall.

The elder smiled at Sam. "I like you, you have a good head on your shoulders." Then he turned to Dean. "Come. I will give you what I can to help you reverse the spell. Then, you must go to this town where you lost the chunk of your soul, break the curse and get it back."

"But I've been fine for this long, and the wendigo," Dean reminded them. "You're going to need my help."

John seemed resolute. "No, Dean. You need to go take care of this. Sam and the La Fluer boy can help me."

A few days later, Buffy, Willow and Xander discussed Adam and the initiative in Giles' apartment. A corpse of a demon had been discovered skinned and hanging in a tree. "You're sure this is the work of Adam?" Giles asked Willow.

Willow nodded. "Xander and I saw him leaving the scene."

"We tried to follow," Xander added. "But, you know, wanted to stay alive more than we wanted to catch him."

"Wise choice," Giles said before he turned to Buffy. "What does Riley say about all of this?"

Buffy hadn't been paying that close attention to the conversation. She had been focusing on her hand, or more specifically the ring she wore. "Uh, Riley said the initiative is on high alert and looking for any leads. I told him that Willow and Xan saw the thing near the woods." She shuddered, "I can't wait for all this to be over. Riley and his wannabe GI-Joe-demon-hunters give me the willies."

Giles gave her a condescending smile. "Yes, but by dating him you have been allowed on the inside. You have gained critical information."

"And a lack of self respect," Buffy added. Seeing their reactions she joked, "There aren't enough showers in the world. I haven't gone that far with the guy. But I do feel pretty skeezy."

"Riley's whole outfit is skeezy," Xander replied.

Just then Giles received a phone call informing him that Faith had come out of her coma and escaped from the hospital. When he told the others the news, Buffy and Willow collapsed onto his couch. "Just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse," Xander began. "Now what do we do? Follow up on crazy demon-hybrid or crazy demon-hunter?"

Buffy rubbed her temples. "Both. Can't have either one loose on society. Giles, you better contact the council and find out what they want to do with Faith." She stood up. "Willow, Xander, if you guys see her, call me or Giles. If you guys see Adam -"

"Run like hell?" Xander suggested.

"Sounds like another wise choice," Buffy agreed.

As Buffy and Willow walked back to their dorm, Willow noticed Buffy's nervous behavior and decided to ask, "Buffy, is there something else bothering you? You seemed kind of unfocused back there."

"You don't think convincing Riley that I'm in love with him, finding and destroying Adam, and finding and capturing Faith is enough to distract me?" Buffy asked trying to sound like she was joking.

Willow shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. But before we found out about Faith you weren't really with us."

Buffy sighed and willed herself to be unemotional. "On my way to meet you guys, I thought I heard Dean's Impala," Buffy paused and shook her head. "I know it couldn't have been him, not after all this time, but, it shook me up a little."

Dean stood in the Magic Shop staring at the shelves filled with herbs. He felt like he had been there for hours, but he still hadn't found the last few items on his list. He was so focused he didn't notice the girl who was browsing in the same aisle until she spoke. "Excuse me, um, do you need help finding something?"

"No," Dean said sharply and turned away, like he was going to accept the help of a strange girl in Sunnydale.

"You sure?" she asked pleasantly. "It's just that you've been standing there for a while and I thought if you were looking for something, maybe I could help. This place isn't the best at keeping the shelves orderly."

Dean studied her for a moment, not about to trust her, but he looked at his list and realized he had nothing to lose; he was already cursed. "Yeah, okay, I can't find these last things," he said as he pointed to his paper.

The girl read them and smiled. "The first two are easy." She pulled two packages from the shelf. "They were stocked under their Latin names not their common names." She handed him the packages and looked at the last item on his list. "And this is a mineral. You wouldn't find it over here at all."

Dean followed her to another section of the shop where she scoured the shelves for a minute before finding what Dean needed. "Here it is." When she placed it in his basket, she examined the other contents more closely which caused her to pause. What she found was a dangerous combination. Unsure if she should interfere, yet worried what would happen if she didn't, the girl spoke up. "Uh, you've got some very powerful things here. Do you, uh, should you," she stammered.

Her concern made Dean relax. "Yeah, no problem. I may not be good at shopping, but I've got clear directions to follow. I'll be fine." He pulled out the paper from the tribal elder.

The girl took a quick look at the paper and became even more concerned. "Those are some powerful spells," she whispered. "Do you have someone to help you?"

"I don't need any help," Dean said curtly as he folded up the paper and returned it to his pocket. The girl nodded and looked chastised, as Dean stepped around her and made his way to the register.

Outside the store the girl approached him again. "My name's Tara." She handed him a paper from her bag with her number scribbled on it. "My girlfriend is really good at this kind of stuff. If you change your mind, you can call us. We can help you," she offered with a smile.

Tara's smile seemed so innocent and sincere that Dean couldn't help but smile in return as he accepted her number. "M'name's Dean and thanks, Tara, but I should do this on my own. I wouldn't want anyone else to get whammied. And in case you hadn't noticed, Sunnydale's not the best place to be after dark."

Faith stretched and cracked her neck as she watched Buffy and Willow enter Stevenson Hall. She tossed a small gold cube into the air and caught it. "Well, Buffy, buddy, once I get you alone, it's time for some payback."

Shiloh County Hospital- 2004

Sam stormed into John's room. "Did you think I wouldn't find out?"

"What are you talking about?"

"That stuff you wanted from Bobby. It's used to summon a demon not for protection from one. You're planning on bringing the demon here, aren't you?"

"I have a plan, Sam."

"You have a plan? Dean is dying and you have a plan to face off with the demon." Sam didn't try to hide the indolence he felt. "You care more about your stupid revenge than you do about Dean."

Doctors and nurses rushed passed John's room and an alarm sounded drawing the attention of both Winchesters. "Something's going on, Sam," John said with a nod to the door.

Sam nodded and followed the hospital staff to his brother's room.

Dean's spirit kept it's eyes on Buffy as she stood pressed against the wall at the back of the room. She looked terrified as she watched the doctors and nurses work to revive him. "No, Dean, come on, fight!" she pleaded in a whisper.

Sam appeared in the doorway. His eyes flew from the hospital staff attending his brother to the flat line on the monitor. "Dean? No!" He gasped and watched helplessly as the doctor charged the defibrillator a second time.

Dean saw the tears in his brother's eyes and placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's going to be okay, Sammy, I'm going to be fine. Buffy's here. We're finally going to be together. Wouldn't you want to be with Jess again, if you could?" 
Chapter 4