Scrambled Eggs 1/1
Written for the Small Fic Challenge for The Eagle's Nest
Title: Scrambled Eggs 1/1
Author: buffyaddict13
Fandom: Band of Brothers
Rating: PG-13 for language
Characters/Pairing: Gen, George Luz, Frank Perconte
Words: ~2100
Disclaimer: I don't own the Band of Brothers book or miniseries. This fic is based on the characters in the miniseries, and not the real men of Easy Company.
A/N 1: skew_whiff gave me a prompt for a Perco and Luz fic. This is just some silly little fluff, but I hope you like it. Note: I fiddled with the timeline in Why We Fight just a bit.
A/N 2: Thank you AGAIN for the beta, hiyacynth . ♥ x forever.
“Love and eggs are best when they are fresh.”
~Russian proverb
Frank misses scrambled eggs more than anything else in the world. Not actual scrambled eggs. Back when he and Evie were in high school, that was their code for necking. They'd sit at the table doing homework and Evelyn would look at him over her open textbook and say, "Boy, I sure could go for some scrambled eggs right about now."
Frank would wiggle his eyebrows, she'd wink, and the next thing you knew they were behind the house locking lips. Once his mom overheard the eggs comment and actually made them scrambled eggs. Frank and Evie laughed so hard they couldn't even eat the eggs.
On their first wedding anniversary, Evie brought Frank breakfast in bed. She brought him a plate of scrambled eggs in the nude. Jesus Christ, that was the best breakfast in the history of ever, hands down. Neither of them cared that the eggs got cold while they were...busy.
Now Evie sends him letters, pictures of the baby, of the house. When he was in the hospital she wrote I miss you more than words can say and enclosed a photo of a plate of eggs. Across the back were the words Just as soon as you get home, mister. Frank grins at the memory. At the anticipation. He's got the photo tucked in his helmet but he never takes it out around the guys. He can't imagine what Luz would say. Actually, he can. Jesus Christ, Frank, how hard up do you gotta be to jerk off to breakfast food? No thanks.
Luz is the only one who knows how much Frank misses his wife. Most of the time Perco keeps it to himself. The guys don't wanna hear about his old lady when half of them are getting Dear John letters and the other half divorce notices. It's too damn depressing. So Frank pretends to ogle the German frauleins just like the other fellas, but he keeps his dick tucked safely in his trousers. He wouldn't even think of being unfaithful to Evie.
Luz has been keeping his dick in his pants too, but its not for lack of trying. The British dames were too busy fighting over Guarnere, Talbert and Toye to give Georgie much attention. It's a good thing Evelyn's never got a good look at Bill or Joe or she'd probably drop Frank on the spot. Okay, that ain't fair to Evie, but still, Frank's not takin' any chances.
Janovec's been doin' quite a bit a fraternizin' with the local girls. Frank listens to the replacement's stories of conquest with a polite smirk, then wonders if the kid has to pay in cash, rations, or both. Luz and Frank exchange glances and head for the door. It's hard enough keepin' his hand off his dick without listening to Janovec blab. The only good part of the story is that Speirs caught Janovec with his pants down. Literally.
"I'm surprised Speirs didn't cut off Jan's dick and keep it for a souvenir," Luz says, kicking a stone along the dirt road. It's still early and Luz looks half asleep.
"If he catches Janovec a second time I wouldn't put it past him."
"Look at all these farms along here," Luz says, pointing. In the distance, various brick barns dot the rolling hills. "I could really go for some scrambled eggs, you know?" Luz sighs wistfully. "And bacon. I would sell a kidney for some bacon. Hell, two kidneys."
"You can't live without your kidneys, dummy," Frank points out.
"I didn't say I'd sell my kidneys, did I?"
Frank considers. "Huh. Good point."
Luz grins. "Thank you."
Frank eyes Luz a little warily. It takes him a minute to realize Luz wants real scrambled eggs, and not access to Evie's lovely lips. Well okay then. Eggs it is.
"You feel like walking a little further?"
"What's this walk bullshit?" George wonders. "I only know how to march."
"This'll be good practice then," Frank says. "Come on."
The two men amble down the road. They pick the second farm within view, about a mile away. The air smells like honeysuckle, hay, and cow manure.
"Is this what spring smells like?" Luz asks. "Hell if I remember."
Frank sniffs the air cautiously. "I think so. Better ask Webster, he'd know." Both men laugh.
Back during those first shitty weeks at Toccoa, Frank figured he'd end up friends with Liebgott or Cobb. After all, they're the oldest guys in the company next to him. But Liebgott was too angry and Cobb too assholey, and somehow, Frank ended up hanging around with Martin and Luz. Martin made sense, him being married and all. Luz didn't.
Frank's always been a little uptight, a little too neat for most people--except Evie. Perco just shrugs off the eye rolling. His mom taught him a long time ago, even if you don't have nothin' else, you got your pride and your appearance. Just cuz you're poor don't mean you gotta have dirty fingernails. Frank might have been plenty hungry growing up, but he always kept his face and hands clean.
Perconte tends to take things too personally. He knows this. He likes to complain a little more than he should, and he's got a temper. He's no Lieb or Bill, but Frank's made a replacement or two cry in his time. He ain't sorry though. Those kids gotta toughen up. If they can't survive a few bitter words, how the hell are they gonna survive seein' their friends die?
Now Luz? He's never uptight. And he's certainly not neat. The only thing Sobel ever busted Luz for was the state of his bunk. Luz could sleep on the floor and the blankets on his bunk would still be a mess. Whereas Frank takes pride in his uniform, does his best to keep it clean, Luz looks like he periodically rolls in the dirt, then sprinkles ash down the front his jacket. Once Luz accidentally dropped his cigarette and burned a hole in his sleeve. Luz laughed about it. Frank had a nightmare. He actually woke up once, just to make sure his sleeve was hole-free. It was.
Somehow, being with Georgie makes Frank feel relaxed--despite the state of his friend's uniform. George can always make him laugh, and that's not something Frank takes lightly. Evie is pretty, she's sweet, she's smart, but it was her sense of humor that drew him to her from the start. Some of the boys at school said she was ugly. Frank thought those other boys were assholes, but secretly, he was relieved. Let them judge Evelyn like a bunch of bastards, that meant less competition for Frank.
Luz is funnier than Evie of course, but they both have an innate ability to cheer people up. Even when people don't feel like bein' cheered up, don't think they can be. Even when George was struggling in Bastogne, when he stopped laughing himself, Luz still did his best to make the other guys laugh. It's a fuckin' shame they don't give out medals for shit like that, the shit that really counts. Luz would have ten of 'em by now.
Frank watches Luz from the corner of his eye. George has his hands jammed in his pockets, head down. He looks up suddenly, dark hair spilling over his forehead. "You really think we'll be home by summer?"
Perco shrugs. "Hell if I know," he says. "But it'd sure be nice."
"Yeah, nice." Luz lights another Lucky. "Must be nice having somebody waiting for you."
Perco's not the smartest guy in the company, but he don't need a Harvard degree to hear the loneliness in Luz's voice. "It's nice, all right," Frank agrees, "but you got your folks, your sisters and brothers waitin' for ya."
Luz exhales a plume of smoke. "It ain't the same and you know it."
Frank shrugs. "Aw come on, George. You're gonna find a nice girl and settle down. I promise. Hell, if I can find a girl, you sure as shit can."
Luz's mouth curves around the dangling cigarette. "I never thought of it like that. I'll just carry a picture of you and tell the dames they got a choice between you and me. They'll line up around the block to let me take 'em out."
"That's what you think. Jeez, Evie's gonna be pissed when the girls start showin' up on my front porch."
"You wish."
"No, you wish."
Luz laughs. "Yeah. I kinda do."
The barn's directly ahead of them now. Frank casts a careful look around. The coast is clear. The two men slip into the barn and there--joy of joys--is a small chicken coop. A hen eyes them balefully.
They scramble up onto some wooden crates. Even standing on his tip-toes, Frank can hardly reach the damn bird. Christ, he's never felt so goddamn short in his life. Frank turns his helmet upside down, uses it for a basket. Now he also feels a little like Little Red Riding Hood. Jesus.
"Okay, George," Frank says, opening the little coop, "you grab the chicken and I'll get the eggs."
Luz grabs the chicken gamely until it starts pecking at George's fingers, flaps its wings. "I swear," Luz says, flinching, "If this thing bites me I'm gonna shoot. it."
Perco reaches for the eggs, trying hard keep from falling off the crate and breaking his leg. Or one of the eggs.
That's when the pretty blond fraulein walks in.
George beams at her over the flapping bird. "Guten tag, Fraulein."
She takes one look and promptly skedaddles. George runs after her so fast Frank has to wonder if Sobel just popped out of a bale of hay. What the fuck? How's Frank supposed to get the rest of the eggs by himself? That big liar, Luz is interested in Frank's brand of scrambled eggs after all. Frank sighs a loud put-upon sigh.
Perco hops down from the crate, studies the eggs in his helmet. Jeez, he's still got Luz's helmet too. What the hell is s'posed to do now? If Luz gets lucky, Frank ain't gonna stick around. But he doesn't feel comfortable ditching George either. Then again, didn't George just ditch him?
Perco follows the sound of Luz's slightly desperate voice. Frank pushes a door open, sees George trying to woo the girl with chocolate. "George," he says, "why don't you leave her alone."
Luz glares. "Frank, why don't you just leave me alone." He tosses the chocolate onto the hay-strewn ground, takes out a pack of Luckies. "How about cigarettes? You like cigarettes?"
Blondie cautiously reaches for the pack.
"Aw, Luz," Frank chides.
"Why don't you just go make your omelet?" George shouts, waving Frank away.
Frank frowns at Luz's back. His omelet? This whole thing had been George's stupid idea. Fine. Fuck scrambled eggs. "You ain't gettin' none of my eggs, blockhead," Frank mutters angrily. Luz just forfeited his rights to whatever breakfast Perco feels like making.
Frank starts walking.
He cheers himself up by calling Luz names in his head: Idiot. Knucklehead. Dickweed. Jackass. Asshole. Moron. Jerk. Dummy. Nincompoop.
Okay fine, Luz was an ass, but he's just lonely. So's Frank. He misses Evie.
Luz's voice comes from behind. "Hey Frank, wait up!"
Frank slows his pace, but he doesn't stop.
"Perc! Jesus, come on!"
George catches up, sheepish, grinning, rubbing his face. There's a nice red hand print on his cheek. He grabs his helmet from George. "What?"
Nixon and his driver speed by in a jeep. Nixon stares straight ahead, stoic, ignoring Frank and Luz.
Luz glances at Frank in surprise. "Was that Captain Nixon? What's he doin' in his harness?"
Frank watches the jeep grow smaller. "I dunno. Maybe we jumped into Berlin and the war's over."
Luz chuckles, rubs his jaw. "Yeah, right."
Perco looks at Luz's face, tries to hide a smile. Fails. "So, no dice with the fraulein?"
Luz makes a face. "No dice." He sighs. "Jeez, all I wanted was a lousy kiss."
George looks so dejected all Frank's annoyance disappears. He pats Luz's shoulder. "I know, buddy." He lifts an eyebrow. "But don't look at me."
Luz taps Perco's helmet. "At least we still got the eggs."
Perconte nods, cradles the helmet against his chest with one arm, slings the other one around Luz's shoulders. "I'll make 'em as soon as we get back to quarters."
"Scrambled?"
Frank smiles affectionately at his friend. "Whatever you want, Georgie."