It's That Time...
Yes, folks! Once again, it's that time that everybody hates! I have my step-grandpa (George)'s viewing today, then the funeral tomorrow. I am okay, I've gotten tons of support and everything...I just hate seeing my grandma so upset! She knows it was his time to go, but nobody wants to finish their life without the one they love. I am bringing Dave to the funeral tomorrow...he's off work and said he'd come down to be with me. It's so weird, for us to not be in a relationship officially yet, things sure are going well! He's been a major help! Peter volunteered to go too, but dealing with Peter gets harder everyday!
I am sorry if I somehow, unknowingly led him on...but seriously, it's the same thing at least once a week...if he goes out somewhere, he calls me afterwards, and once he has some drinks in him...it's always, "I love you"...blah blah BLAH! I have told him everytime that I don't want anything more than a friendship...then he types in "code" on his FaceBook..."I'm over it"...as if I don't know what he means. THEN, he freaks out on me again a day later, and suddenly he posts on his FaceBook, "Oops...I'm not over it." It's repetitive and mind-numbing.
Then, why does Robin have to send me a "Have a Happy Valentine's Day" message? Seriously?!? I mean, I worked...so it was not happy...the last thing I really needed to top off that night was to come home and see his face in my inbox with a Valentine's Day wish. I mean, I'm sure he had good intentions, but it's like, can't he just leave me alone? I have to see his face on a million different things in my room everyday...I have a lot of junk to remind me of such a short and pointless relationship. I guess if it still frustrates me, it just means I'm not totally over it, which is cool. I don't have to be...I wasn't ready for it to end when it did and I can be angry. I guess I knew I wasn't over it when I called in 95.5 and they played me on the radio a week or so ago...I called in for Man-Bashing...it's normally for girls, but they let me man bash anyways! I told them it was really boy-bashing cuz Robin wasn't a man and I said some other stuff that I won't repeat here, but if you heard it on the air, the DJ's were laughing! LOL! I didn't do anything wrong. It was just upsetting most that he was telling lies about me afterwards...telling people I did him wrong...when, for once, I ddin't do anything wrong. What kind of a guy breaks up with you the day you find out there's a possibility you could go to Iraq...cuz HE can't deal with that?!?!? It makes me still cringe that he fooled me for as long as he did...made me think the Robin I knew was the only side to him. Yeah, I guess it's just going to sting...which is why I don't need Valentine's Day messages...I asked him to send me a tape that's mine that he has...still ahven't gotten it...and I really don't want to put myself through talking to him to try to get it back. I think that the truth is that he never realized how much I actually cared for him...he always seemed to doubt me...and STUPID ME! I fell for him and never questioned how he felt...which was obviously not as strong as I felt...even though he tended to believed he cared for me way more than I did for him. Sorry for venting so long on this...I just hate to admit that someone wound me up that much in such a short amount of time...I feel like an @$$!
Well loves, I have to get dressed...T-minus 90 minutes and counting till I have to be at the church dressed in black. Thank God for Dave right now...it's great to have some just care and want to be there...no questions asked. He has 2 things that I had greatly lacked in my last relationship...maturity and depth...I can't take immaturity or shallowness anymore...if you can't hold a serious conversation about something other than yourself...you're not for me! If you're gonna sleep with a teddy bear (ok, it was cute, but come on!) and be distrustful enough to read my text messages and copy my hard drive to read my saved instant messages (which, by the way, nothing was discovered from all that wasted effort)...I just can't deal with it! And that's a big reason why I couldn't like Peter...I love the guy...he's a great friend...but he can be pretty immature at times...and the only time we have serious talks are when he wants to confess his undying devotion to me...AS IF! Get a grip, boys! This is why I am glad to have found a MAN...not a boy.
~Matti
I am sorry if I somehow, unknowingly led him on...but seriously, it's the same thing at least once a week...if he goes out somewhere, he calls me afterwards, and once he has some drinks in him...it's always, "I love you"...blah blah BLAH! I have told him everytime that I don't want anything more than a friendship...then he types in "code" on his FaceBook..."I'm over it"...as if I don't know what he means. THEN, he freaks out on me again a day later, and suddenly he posts on his FaceBook, "Oops...I'm not over it." It's repetitive and mind-numbing.
Then, why does Robin have to send me a "Have a Happy Valentine's Day" message? Seriously?!? I mean, I worked...so it was not happy...the last thing I really needed to top off that night was to come home and see his face in my inbox with a Valentine's Day wish. I mean, I'm sure he had good intentions, but it's like, can't he just leave me alone? I have to see his face on a million different things in my room everyday...I have a lot of junk to remind me of such a short and pointless relationship. I guess if it still frustrates me, it just means I'm not totally over it, which is cool. I don't have to be...I wasn't ready for it to end when it did and I can be angry. I guess I knew I wasn't over it when I called in 95.5 and they played me on the radio a week or so ago...I called in for Man-Bashing...it's normally for girls, but they let me man bash anyways! I told them it was really boy-bashing cuz Robin wasn't a man and I said some other stuff that I won't repeat here, but if you heard it on the air, the DJ's were laughing! LOL! I didn't do anything wrong. It was just upsetting most that he was telling lies about me afterwards...telling people I did him wrong...when, for once, I ddin't do anything wrong. What kind of a guy breaks up with you the day you find out there's a possibility you could go to Iraq...cuz HE can't deal with that?!?!? It makes me still cringe that he fooled me for as long as he did...made me think the Robin I knew was the only side to him. Yeah, I guess it's just going to sting...which is why I don't need Valentine's Day messages...I asked him to send me a tape that's mine that he has...still ahven't gotten it...and I really don't want to put myself through talking to him to try to get it back. I think that the truth is that he never realized how much I actually cared for him...he always seemed to doubt me...and STUPID ME! I fell for him and never questioned how he felt...which was obviously not as strong as I felt...even though he tended to believed he cared for me way more than I did for him. Sorry for venting so long on this...I just hate to admit that someone wound me up that much in such a short amount of time...I feel like an @$$!
Well loves, I have to get dressed...T-minus 90 minutes and counting till I have to be at the church dressed in black. Thank God for Dave right now...it's great to have some just care and want to be there...no questions asked. He has 2 things that I had greatly lacked in my last relationship...maturity and depth...I can't take immaturity or shallowness anymore...if you can't hold a serious conversation about something other than yourself...you're not for me! If you're gonna sleep with a teddy bear (ok, it was cute, but come on!) and be distrustful enough to read my text messages and copy my hard drive to read my saved instant messages (which, by the way, nothing was discovered from all that wasted effort)...I just can't deal with it! And that's a big reason why I couldn't like Peter...I love the guy...he's a great friend...but he can be pretty immature at times...and the only time we have serious talks are when he wants to confess his undying devotion to me...AS IF! Get a grip, boys! This is why I am glad to have found a MAN...not a boy.
~Matti