Defriending, also. I only filter my friends list out from all the communities I'm a member of and that's it. Honestly, I think filtering is rude. I mean, you add someone to your friends list and then after awhile you start to drift apart, but you don't have the heart to defriend them so you just filter them out? How unfair is that? Especially if they don't you're filtering them out.
I agree that defriending is more direct and honest. You get defriended and you move on. It's much better than thinking that someone reads your entries when they really don't.
Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way about defriending vs. filtering. I'm all for people being upfront and straightforward.
"And just so you know, I'm not defriending you" Sweet :-) I was going to write on yours "Oh, phew. DEFRIENDS IMMEDIATELY" but xx_onmyradio_xx beat me to it :-D
I'm a big advocate for defriending, and still, I feel guilty when I do it. I don't defriend people unless I've reached a point of feeling that myself and the LJ friend in question no longer interest me. If I find myself only skimming their LJ entries, and unable to think of anything to leave as a comment, I know I'm not interested anymore. And if they're no longer commenting on my entries, I can assume I don't interest them anymore either. Thus, it becomes time to cut the cord. As Tyler Durden would say: You are not the number of friends you have on LiveJournal.
"I'm a big advocate for defriending, and still, I feel guilty when I do it." Same here.
I usually wait till someone else defriends first because
1) I’m kinda neurotic or OCD (and a terrible psych student for not being able to pick one of those as more appropriate to misuse here :-P), and there’s no way to guarantee once you’ve defriended someone they’ll defriend you in kind… and seeing that “also a friend of” part on my profile would drive me crazy because it’s ummm… detritus, not neat and tidy
2) I don’t see the harm, except as a cost to my own time (which I’m right now rather liberal about), in keeping someone on, on the off chance that they’ll one day interact with me or offer something really awesome in their own lj; defriending precludes that
I’m a little confused. So you defriend when they seem uninterested in your entries? When you are uninterested in their entries? Or does it have to be both? Apologies if this should have been perfectly clear in your reply. I'm going to blame all the blood inhabiting my gut instead of
( ... )
and seeing that “also a friend of” part on my profile would drive me crazy because it’s ummm… detritus, not neat and tidy
Oh that drives me crazy! But it's really unpreventable. There are people that have me friended that I've never even heard of! I dunno how they found me. Plus loads of dead and abandoned journals.
I’m a little confused. So you defriend when they seem uninterested in your entries? When you are uninterested in their entries? Or does it have to be both?
Both. If someone's commenting on most of my entries, I'll usually keep them, even if I'm not really interested in theirs, because clearly they're interested in mine. Of course, then I feel guilty about not being interested in their journal, but what can you do? But I guess it's alright, because I do have some friends whose entries interest me, but they never seem to comment on mine. So yes, both.
Not to gift you too much with servile gratitude, but I have to say your input has been invaluable. Oh yes, _that_ was emotionally charged. Your input has been invaluable. *facepalm* Me luv you long time?
Well, let me echo the sentiment…
If I find out that I’ve got a terminal illness, your name would be at the top of list of people I’d not take out in a gruesome killing spree before I shake off my mortal coils via suicide by cop. In fact, I think I’d even ask for an abbreviated version of your shit list to take care of along the way. Might take some careful planning though.
Generally, I prefer defriending, but I like to use the filter sometimes, because a friend of mine IRL that is also my LJ friend sometimes gets discussed, and I'd rather not cause problems there.
That's cool. It's just a specific case, I don't wanna be all "Hey Meg move out here with me so I can fall asleep next to you at night with the smell of your hair by my side."
Reading back over what I wrote, I realize I probably sound emo and in need of positive affirmation. Eeep. Well, it wasn’t my intention, but I have to admit I am enjoying the lurve immensely, so thank you :-) ♥
What I meant was that I thought people on my flist wouldn’t feel guilty because either:
1) We don’t interact much at all unless I comment on their lj (not that I blame them since mine is overwhelmingly RL and not fandom), and why feel bad cutting someone who’s virtually a stranger and a boring one at that? Or 2) We do interact more often. I have a better sense of what they’re like. Most seem rather forthright, so should we drift apart, probably wouldn’t pussyfoot around with filters that way
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Defriending, also. I only filter my friends list out from all the communities I'm a member of and that's it. Honestly, I think filtering is rude. I mean, you add someone to your friends list and then after awhile you start to drift apart, but you don't have the heart to defriend them so you just filter them out? How unfair is that? Especially if they don't you're filtering them out.
I agree that defriending is more direct and honest. You get defriended and you move on. It's much better than thinking that someone reads your entries when they really don't.
And just so you know, I'm not defriending you :D
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"And just so you know, I'm not defriending you"
Sweet :-)
I was going to write on yours "Oh, phew. DEFRIENDS IMMEDIATELY" but xx_onmyradio_xx beat me to it :-D
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Same here.
I usually wait till someone else defriends first because
1) I’m kinda neurotic or OCD (and a terrible psych student for not being able to pick one of those as more appropriate to misuse here :-P), and there’s no way to guarantee once you’ve defriended someone they’ll defriend you in kind… and seeing that “also a friend of” part on my profile would drive me crazy because it’s ummm… detritus, not neat and tidy
I’m a little confused. So you defriend when they seem uninterested in your entries? When you are uninterested in their entries? Or does it have to be both? Apologies if this should have been perfectly clear in your reply. I'm going to blame all the blood inhabiting my gut instead of ( ... )2) I don’t see the harm, except as a cost to my own time (which I’m right now rather liberal about), in keeping someone on, on the off chance that they’ll one day interact with me or offer something really awesome in their own lj; defriending precludes that
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Oh that drives me crazy! But it's really unpreventable. There are people that have me friended that I've never even heard of! I dunno how they found me. Plus loads of dead and abandoned journals.
I’m a little confused. So you defriend when they seem uninterested in your entries? When you are uninterested in their entries? Or does it have to be both?
Both. If someone's commenting on most of my entries, I'll usually keep them, even if I'm not really interested in theirs, because clearly they're interested in mine. Of course, then I feel guilty about not being interested in their journal, but what can you do? But I guess it's alright, because I do have some friends whose entries interest me, but they never seem to comment on mine. So yes, both.
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Me luv you long time?
Well, let me echo the sentiment…
If I find out that I’ve got a terminal illness, your name would be at the top of list of people I’d not take out in a gruesome killing spree before I shake off my mortal coils via suicide by cop. In fact, I think I’d even ask for an abbreviated version of your shit list to take care of along the way. Might take some careful planning though.
I like you too :-D ( ... )Reply
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(The comment has been removed)
♥
What I meant was that I thought people on my flist wouldn’t feel guilty because either:
1) We don’t interact much at all unless I comment on their lj (not that I blame them since mine is overwhelmingly RL and not fandom), and why feel bad cutting someone who’s virtually a stranger and a boring one at that?
Or
2) We do interact more often. I have a better sense of what they’re like. Most seem rather forthright, so should we drift apart, probably wouldn’t pussyfoot around with filters that way
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