(no subject)
I'm in Texas. I came here because my brother will be gone for months and months with limited contact. I came here because I knew it would mean a lot to him to have me here when he deploys, and I didn't have any real obligations preventing me.
Thing is, his deployment got moved up. I arrived. We had a day all together, and he hopped on a plane with a bunch of other people in camo. That's probably good. There's nothing going on in Killeen, TX, and one can only take so much time of strained hanging out family time.
But...now I'm just killing time. There has been so little sleeping for me in the last few nights. A combination of late flights, crappy beds and early mornings has taken a toll. And there's not a purpose behind it anymore. We had to get up and drive my brother's wife to the airport in Austin, but then my parents were all, "Time to sight see!" Yes, because the LBJ presidential library is exactly where I want to be right now. If it weren't so hot I would've just stayed in the car and slept.
And my mom's been all grouchy and touchy from her own lack of sleep. She's imagining tones and criticism where there aren't any and making the ones there are worse. So...that's extra fun. Seeing my parents isn't really a good reason for still being here.
Now we're in San Antonio. My dad/parents have errands and stuff related to my deceased grandparents to take care of. But I just feel too full of blahs and tiredness to create some sort of reason to make it worthwhile for me to be here. Maybe that will improve, or I'll just come to terms with it. Sitting around a hotel room isn't so bad as long as no one wakes you up early. Probably I can at least eat some more delicious food. Take a vacation from my strenuous life of unemployment. After more sleep maybe my mom and I will be up for some mother-daughter time.
At least I'm feeling pretty okay about my brother's deployment finally. I'll admit, I did some preemptive worrying, but it's just not worth it. And now, now I'm just sort of bummed to know that I can't get a hold of him right away if I suddenly wanted to, but it isn't as if we talk all the time anyway. It will probably the longest we go without seeing each other, but it's been years since we saw each other frequently. I'm lucky to have a brother where those things even matter to us. He'll be fine. I'll certainly be fine.
And right now I'm stuck in Texas with my parents until Tuesday. I blame the army.
Thing is, his deployment got moved up. I arrived. We had a day all together, and he hopped on a plane with a bunch of other people in camo. That's probably good. There's nothing going on in Killeen, TX, and one can only take so much time of strained hanging out family time.
But...now I'm just killing time. There has been so little sleeping for me in the last few nights. A combination of late flights, crappy beds and early mornings has taken a toll. And there's not a purpose behind it anymore. We had to get up and drive my brother's wife to the airport in Austin, but then my parents were all, "Time to sight see!" Yes, because the LBJ presidential library is exactly where I want to be right now. If it weren't so hot I would've just stayed in the car and slept.
And my mom's been all grouchy and touchy from her own lack of sleep. She's imagining tones and criticism where there aren't any and making the ones there are worse. So...that's extra fun. Seeing my parents isn't really a good reason for still being here.
Now we're in San Antonio. My dad/parents have errands and stuff related to my deceased grandparents to take care of. But I just feel too full of blahs and tiredness to create some sort of reason to make it worthwhile for me to be here. Maybe that will improve, or I'll just come to terms with it. Sitting around a hotel room isn't so bad as long as no one wakes you up early. Probably I can at least eat some more delicious food. Take a vacation from my strenuous life of unemployment. After more sleep maybe my mom and I will be up for some mother-daughter time.
At least I'm feeling pretty okay about my brother's deployment finally. I'll admit, I did some preemptive worrying, but it's just not worth it. And now, now I'm just sort of bummed to know that I can't get a hold of him right away if I suddenly wanted to, but it isn't as if we talk all the time anyway. It will probably the longest we go without seeing each other, but it's been years since we saw each other frequently. I'm lucky to have a brother where those things even matter to us. He'll be fine. I'll certainly be fine.
And right now I'm stuck in Texas with my parents until Tuesday. I blame the army.