(no subject)
I'm just horrible with the updates - here's my best shot at describing the chaos that is my new life:
Clearly I have issues.
Clearly I am so very happy too.
:)
- SGU is too melodramatic and slow. Fix this.
- OMG. Thad had a baby so soon after me. . . and it's a girl to my boy. Destiny.
- Andy only wakes once a night on the weekends when Daddy is there to help. Then he goes back to being a butt on Sunday night.
- OMG. I start work next Monday. Thank god. Also - will I be any good?
- My son is the most awesome smiler/giggler evar. After feedings we have some serious goofy times in my lap. Awesome.
- If I want to give him a brother - I have to start asap prolly. Considering that the infertility issues I had get worse fast. Can I do that? Will I do that? Will I resent it if I don't? If I try and fail - oh holy god - can I survive it? Last time was SOOOOO hard.
- Do all little boys smile when they poop?
- Charlotte is 5 weeks today to Andy's 10 weeks. So different, so neat to be able to compare. I can't wait till Char smiles and giggles - Molly and Erik will just about lose their shit entirely.
- We have the best of the Rolling Stones in Lullaby format (Rockabye Baby CD).
- White wine is the new mother's little helper.
- The depression comes and goes. Mostly because of the crying/overwhelming bits. You'd be surprised. I know I was.
- I'm back to putting on weight. I'm still 14lbs over where I was and this is no good. Not as we are heading into the holidays. I fear it's mostly due to the white wine (perhaps that will change once I am back at work).
- It took 9 weeks - but I finally fell in love with my son. Totally.
- My husband is being a whiny brat and referring to himself as "#4" (behind me, the baby, and the cat). He is #3 (I'm actually #4) - but it's my fault for pandering to him for all these years. I'm not going to tell him to get over it - because I love that needy SOB too much. I'm going to work on finding a middle ground where he still feels loved. I know it's important for me to still feel loved.
- Booduh has been eating like a champ since I got back into town and he's no longer on the fast track of dying. Back to the slow track. Boo and Hurrah - all at the same time.
- Did I mention I love my feeble husband? Geez (I say as I pat my own back) I sure did pick the right guy for me. I hope the tugging of the heart strings never stops.
- So I have to switch to a lower-dose birthcontrol. With my luck I'll be knocked up again and not able to have a beer at the Superbowl, a glass of wine for VDay, or a beer on my anniversary (all - again!). Or, with my luck I will... I don't know what to hope for. I'll be 40 in July (OMG). A second child: Get it over with, don't get it over with just yet, not be able to get it over with at all???? What if they are twins (happens when you're old like me - I can barely handle a late night feeding with just one). What happens if they have downs (something like 1 in 60 at my age too. . .shit)??
Clearly I have issues.
Clearly I am so very happy too.
:)