Just let it be yeah yeah YEAH!
So im going to make an effort to make a proper entry. Lets start with my weekend.
Friday was a sucky day mainly because of my dad the night before. Long story much to do with the fact that hes away i somehow missed him a lot, deluded myself into thinking things had changed and he has come back being much the uncaring, none of my children do anything good enough man that he always was. I had forgotten what it felt like to have your heart broken. Thanks for reminding me dad. So yeah. Its funny how love is one of the simplest things you can give another person, especially a person that is a part of you in more ways than one, but i spose for some people its not that easy. Or they dont realise how much it would mean to you to hear them say i missed you, or i love you. Funny.
I also find myself pulling away from certain people at work. I have a knack for picking people that will hurt me. Or yeah, just people that cant ever be the friend i need them to be. Anyways the whole day was made a lot better by Kristine coming over. Freeds to those who know her. It was really nice to have her there, more than nice, i didnt ever want her to leave and i hope she had a good time. I missed her so much, and it was so nice to have someone to laugh with and that was positive and wasnt down towards me and yeah, i hope she comes over a lot more. I *heart* her. We stayed up late watching girly movies or at least ones that decided to work on my dvd player (which shall soon be banished from the house for being evil!) and yeah, she has a pretty phone and bought me lots of nice things to nibble on! hmmmmm, lets not read too much into that sentence.
Saturday we didnt do too much since the house was pretty clean from the night before, i just watched dvds and hung around. Neel neel orange peel had to work till 11 and so we just slept for the rest of the arvo. Tristan came over at 7 to watch some scary dvds in honour of the halloweeness and we ate chinese because that is some dangerous, scary food!!!!! I love my brother. I love the fact that we are close and that i can look after him and have him over and that he lives so close to me. I *heart* him.
Neels parents rang that night as well....i miss them a lot. Especially viv. It was nice to actually get to talk to her on the phone for a bit and i miss her so so much because she is like me, or im like her since she came first and i just wish i could hug her sometimes and lavish love on her in the girly way i can since her sons wont! :) So we made a deal to ring eachother more... i cant wait until they come over. As much as i love living here, i wish they were closer to us, or us closer to them.
Sunday i was woken up by dad and mum coming over to pick some garden stuff we had borrowed up. I never thought i could feel such disappointment twice in one week. But yeah, ill save it for the therapist when i finally crack and blame it all on my father and his lack of love for me. We went up to the shops and did our shopping, tristan came over again (yay) and much hanging out watching dvds was done. Its now sunday night and neel is going to be working. Ill be all alone. I hope i get some sleep.
My entry is so boring.
Bah!
Friday was a sucky day mainly because of my dad the night before. Long story much to do with the fact that hes away i somehow missed him a lot, deluded myself into thinking things had changed and he has come back being much the uncaring, none of my children do anything good enough man that he always was. I had forgotten what it felt like to have your heart broken. Thanks for reminding me dad. So yeah. Its funny how love is one of the simplest things you can give another person, especially a person that is a part of you in more ways than one, but i spose for some people its not that easy. Or they dont realise how much it would mean to you to hear them say i missed you, or i love you. Funny.
I also find myself pulling away from certain people at work. I have a knack for picking people that will hurt me. Or yeah, just people that cant ever be the friend i need them to be. Anyways the whole day was made a lot better by Kristine coming over. Freeds to those who know her. It was really nice to have her there, more than nice, i didnt ever want her to leave and i hope she had a good time. I missed her so much, and it was so nice to have someone to laugh with and that was positive and wasnt down towards me and yeah, i hope she comes over a lot more. I *heart* her. We stayed up late watching girly movies or at least ones that decided to work on my dvd player (which shall soon be banished from the house for being evil!) and yeah, she has a pretty phone and bought me lots of nice things to nibble on! hmmmmm, lets not read too much into that sentence.
Saturday we didnt do too much since the house was pretty clean from the night before, i just watched dvds and hung around. Neel neel orange peel had to work till 11 and so we just slept for the rest of the arvo. Tristan came over at 7 to watch some scary dvds in honour of the halloweeness and we ate chinese because that is some dangerous, scary food!!!!! I love my brother. I love the fact that we are close and that i can look after him and have him over and that he lives so close to me. I *heart* him.
Neels parents rang that night as well....i miss them a lot. Especially viv. It was nice to actually get to talk to her on the phone for a bit and i miss her so so much because she is like me, or im like her since she came first and i just wish i could hug her sometimes and lavish love on her in the girly way i can since her sons wont! :) So we made a deal to ring eachother more... i cant wait until they come over. As much as i love living here, i wish they were closer to us, or us closer to them.
Sunday i was woken up by dad and mum coming over to pick some garden stuff we had borrowed up. I never thought i could feel such disappointment twice in one week. But yeah, ill save it for the therapist when i finally crack and blame it all on my father and his lack of love for me. We went up to the shops and did our shopping, tristan came over again (yay) and much hanging out watching dvds was done. Its now sunday night and neel is going to be working. Ill be all alone. I hope i get some sleep.
My entry is so boring.
Bah!