(no subject)
Fuck, i feal like shit, i dont know why, i SHOULD be working so i can pick up another route, but instead i stole away onto the internet to blow my time. my fucking jobs shitty though when doors at apartments are locked and shit, its realy anoying, i wanna get done by four to.. lol. whateve.
i feal like i need to go on some kind of mystic vision quest to find my destany or something.. no matter how retarded that sounds. i dunno i spose i just need some way to get my parents to quite harping on me so much. constantly, do this do that, clean your room, vacuum, 'why the hell are you lying in bed and not working and eleven in the morning! the suns been up for almost four hours.' and the ever so loving 'when are you gunna give me my money for your car insurance??"
just as soon as i start lickin' pussy dad, dont worry, soon as a develope a little heterosexuality i will get right on that, cuz you know, heteros are so much more responsible, and a lot less caught up in themselves then gay people like me. i mean come on now, how can i ever get shit done for people who feal they need to keep me constantly busy so i am not out having frantic gay sex. not that that would actualy happen.
i find myself on the brink of insanity, desperatly wishing i didnt have to be differant. listen up kiddies, this is one of the few times you will ever hear me admit this, but i wish i was straight.. if i liked girls, my whole life would be, and would have been, so much fucking simpler. probly a lot happyer in general.
but then i also remember, that my being differant also gives me an unbreakable strength... to do what im not sure, but i know its there for a reason. my skins a lot tougher than it ever could have been if i was straight. I almost feal like you have to take a beating or three just for being yourself before you can ever truely live. Every moment i have i cherish, good and bad, because i know and always have known, im only gunna get them once, and there are only so many moments in a lifetime. i dont know, my range of emotions are sometimes to broad for me to understand them all. but i do know i am only happy when i am not alone.. though i like to be alone. soul crushing depression does have its advantages.
every moment that is slightly better than the rest of my dreary life has such an impact on me. my envirionment is my weakness.
im done.
peace, im out.
i feal like i need to go on some kind of mystic vision quest to find my destany or something.. no matter how retarded that sounds. i dunno i spose i just need some way to get my parents to quite harping on me so much. constantly, do this do that, clean your room, vacuum, 'why the hell are you lying in bed and not working and eleven in the morning! the suns been up for almost four hours.' and the ever so loving 'when are you gunna give me my money for your car insurance??"
just as soon as i start lickin' pussy dad, dont worry, soon as a develope a little heterosexuality i will get right on that, cuz you know, heteros are so much more responsible, and a lot less caught up in themselves then gay people like me. i mean come on now, how can i ever get shit done for people who feal they need to keep me constantly busy so i am not out having frantic gay sex. not that that would actualy happen.
i find myself on the brink of insanity, desperatly wishing i didnt have to be differant. listen up kiddies, this is one of the few times you will ever hear me admit this, but i wish i was straight.. if i liked girls, my whole life would be, and would have been, so much fucking simpler. probly a lot happyer in general.
but then i also remember, that my being differant also gives me an unbreakable strength... to do what im not sure, but i know its there for a reason. my skins a lot tougher than it ever could have been if i was straight. I almost feal like you have to take a beating or three just for being yourself before you can ever truely live. Every moment i have i cherish, good and bad, because i know and always have known, im only gunna get them once, and there are only so many moments in a lifetime. i dont know, my range of emotions are sometimes to broad for me to understand them all. but i do know i am only happy when i am not alone.. though i like to be alone. soul crushing depression does have its advantages.
every moment that is slightly better than the rest of my dreary life has such an impact on me. my envirionment is my weakness.
im done.
peace, im out.