dear summer,
this is the last entry before i live in a different room again. i move out tomorrow and begin my next year at central. still exciting even though i've done this before...and every time it seems like it's gotten easier. physically easier packing, as well as emotionally easier packing. gives you that renegade gypsy kinda feeling.
packing always puts me in a philisophical type of mood though. over the silliest stuff. today it was a watch i used to wear when i was a kid. what would i have thought of myself now back when i was a kid wearing this watch. you go through so many changes between when you were in fourth grade and when you are starting your sophomore year at college. would i have been proud? or scared? crazy. i dont know.
it also seems like when you've moved on to another part of your life, it would always be tempting to go back and live again in the past for...like a week or something. just to do it again. i would love to go back to when i was in fourth grade wearing that watch and going off to school on the bus wearing my little jansport backpack. just do it again one more time, cause i'm never going to get to do that part again. maybe that's what makes it so enticing; the fact that i'll never get to do it again. never get to be the innocent little kid wearing that watch. it's good though that you leave parts of your life wanting more. that way they ended before they got bad or boring. like tv shows that retire themselves before people lose interest.
it really isnt fair either, that once we are done being that fourth grade kid we arent allowed to experience it again. but i guess life isnt fair. that's what "life isnt fair" means. not like the crappy way that parents use it as an excuse to do unfair things. like real life unfairness.
i mean dont get me wrong either. i love my life now and all. wouldnt trade it for the entire world. i love a girl alot that loves me back just as much. i am working towards doing something that would be a great and joyful living. i am making new friends and having all sorts of fun. but all of that aside it would be really fun to be a kid for one more week before calling it quits. being a kid was one of those things that you dont appreciate until it's over. PS. i'm still a kid, but not one of those jansport wearing, bus riding, playground kids. a different kind.
thats it. so to summer; you didnt make me angry. just a little dissapointed. i felt a little let down at times. but i guess life isnt fair...and i mean that in the parent way...not the real life way. not at all how i expected it would have been a year ago. but good. i had alot of fun. a lot. and i love you traci. i loved that i got to see you as much as i did, and that we went on as many adventures as we did. very fun. i'll see you tomorrow ellensburg.
(carter)
packing always puts me in a philisophical type of mood though. over the silliest stuff. today it was a watch i used to wear when i was a kid. what would i have thought of myself now back when i was a kid wearing this watch. you go through so many changes between when you were in fourth grade and when you are starting your sophomore year at college. would i have been proud? or scared? crazy. i dont know.
it also seems like when you've moved on to another part of your life, it would always be tempting to go back and live again in the past for...like a week or something. just to do it again. i would love to go back to when i was in fourth grade wearing that watch and going off to school on the bus wearing my little jansport backpack. just do it again one more time, cause i'm never going to get to do that part again. maybe that's what makes it so enticing; the fact that i'll never get to do it again. never get to be the innocent little kid wearing that watch. it's good though that you leave parts of your life wanting more. that way they ended before they got bad or boring. like tv shows that retire themselves before people lose interest.
it really isnt fair either, that once we are done being that fourth grade kid we arent allowed to experience it again. but i guess life isnt fair. that's what "life isnt fair" means. not like the crappy way that parents use it as an excuse to do unfair things. like real life unfairness.
i mean dont get me wrong either. i love my life now and all. wouldnt trade it for the entire world. i love a girl alot that loves me back just as much. i am working towards doing something that would be a great and joyful living. i am making new friends and having all sorts of fun. but all of that aside it would be really fun to be a kid for one more week before calling it quits. being a kid was one of those things that you dont appreciate until it's over. PS. i'm still a kid, but not one of those jansport wearing, bus riding, playground kids. a different kind.
thats it. so to summer; you didnt make me angry. just a little dissapointed. i felt a little let down at times. but i guess life isnt fair...and i mean that in the parent way...not the real life way. not at all how i expected it would have been a year ago. but good. i had alot of fun. a lot. and i love you traci. i loved that i got to see you as much as i did, and that we went on as many adventures as we did. very fun. i'll see you tomorrow ellensburg.
(carter)