Dear Livejournal
it's amazing how what i want has changed so much since school got out. before, it was all about finding time to just sit around and do nothing. just watch a movie or listen to some music or something. now, i spend so much time doing that, i end up almost looking forward to the concrete plans of going and working in the mud over the weekends. the only thing that sucks about that is that when i am there i just wish that i was hanging out with traci or something like that...so whatver.
i really am looking forward to getting back to school though. this summer isnt treating me the best it could. i mean every once and a while it pulls through and all (some great times with the dollface, seeing bjorn and everyone tonight, that kinda stuff is great...) but mostly i just kinda want to get back to school. i'm excited for the classes i'm going to take...the structure around the days...and hanging out everyday instead of turning to pudding on my couch.
i've realized that i hate change. alot. i dont like changing something, but i always figure out a way to make it alright. once it is alright i hate going back to what it was before. i also hate the prospect of change... just the idea that everything has the capabilities to change on me right when i'm getting it how i like it. it's not uncommon for me it seems... for example, i know when i go back to school in a month and a bit initially it is going to be somewhat of a dissapointment. not because i dont like the way that it will be, but becuase it is not last year, and last year was soooo wonderful. but then again, i remember really not wanting to go through with this whole college thing at the beginning of last year. so i guess it goes back again to having faith that i can make anything alright...even change. so that's one of the things that worries me...
(carter)
i really am looking forward to getting back to school though. this summer isnt treating me the best it could. i mean every once and a while it pulls through and all (some great times with the dollface, seeing bjorn and everyone tonight, that kinda stuff is great...) but mostly i just kinda want to get back to school. i'm excited for the classes i'm going to take...the structure around the days...and hanging out everyday instead of turning to pudding on my couch.
i've realized that i hate change. alot. i dont like changing something, but i always figure out a way to make it alright. once it is alright i hate going back to what it was before. i also hate the prospect of change... just the idea that everything has the capabilities to change on me right when i'm getting it how i like it. it's not uncommon for me it seems... for example, i know when i go back to school in a month and a bit initially it is going to be somewhat of a dissapointment. not because i dont like the way that it will be, but becuase it is not last year, and last year was soooo wonderful. but then again, i remember really not wanting to go through with this whole college thing at the beginning of last year. so i guess it goes back again to having faith that i can make anything alright...even change. so that's one of the things that worries me...
(carter)