Foreword: When I sat down to write this, I originally intended to do a sort of freestyle, line of thought rant. I suppose I succeeded, but where it ends up kind of shocks even me
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Jay, that's cute, that's really cute. I must say I'm impressed, Most people wait until their entire lives have fallen out from underneath them and their financial world has collapsed, or their families have been eradicated by plague or famine before committing suicide, others STILL pack up and go forward. You want to do it because you're unhappy? That's so cute you little emo boy.
I'm sorry, Jay there's nothing funny about the thought of suicide, but your rant has brought me nothing but laughter. You Honestly believe that because you searched for 6 years to find happiness and it didn't arrive, that life isn't worth living? Might I remind you that 4 of those six years, if my math is correct, were in HIGH SCHOOL? The most absurd load of shit that we will EVER face in life? That is not a good judge of happiness.
Jay did you know that Paul, Gavin, and Jeremy just lost their house, lost their place to live because of financial troubles, and were forced to move back to their parent/guardian homes. Did you know that every day I wake up my knees and back are in seering pain from my years of drug use and self destruction at Amtgard? Did you know that my girlfriend has three spines? I want you to tell me honestly, Not what you want to make you happy.... But what reason you have to Be unhappy? Happiness is not something that is going to just arrive in the mail on an overnight flight Jay. Happiness is in your head. Let's even do an old favorite of mine... The Definition of Happiness - Good fortune, pleasure, contentment (oh i love that word), joy.
Contentment is the true nature of the game, I love that word so much. Contentment is to be well with you self and with the world. You want so much instant gratification because that's what this world has become, You can download the new WoW patch in five minutes so my enlightenment should come just as fast if not faster, and it just doesn't work that way. 2 more years isn't enough time to find what truly makes you happy it will never be. Happiness, enlightenment, It's not something that you can pencil in and see for lunch on Tuesday. It's not something you can schedule to just happen. Things happen that change our lives Hell, I swore I would give up on trying to find someone and some cute redhead fell into my lap. But in all honesty... The secret to happiness, is not to find things that make you happy, but to be happy with the things you have.
You have a strong circle of friends here Jay, ones that were willing to help you when you needed a place to stay, rooming with you, playing D&D, enjoying your company (yes i said it i enjoy your company shut the fuck up) and you would really risk that if you didn't find what you're looking for?
The meaning of life Jay, is to live... Whether for yourself, or for the great invisible man in the sky, or for the old pantheons, or for your family, or even (as I do on occasion) for the fucking sake of DOING IT... Live.
besides, if you die then there's no one to defend the opposed side to my views.
First of all, Boston, you really are a world class arrogant prick.
Now that we have that out of the way, I suppose I'll address your question of what I have to be unhappy about. Or rather, I'll non-address it. The fact of the matter is that I really don't have anything to be terribly unhappy about in the first place, or not any more of a reason than the next guy. The level of suffering I am or am not enduring was never the problem. The problem is the lack of enjoyment. I never said there was anything terribly wrong with my life, I just said that there was also nothing terribly right. Let the record show that you're the one who tried to turn it into a pissing and moaning contest. Reread my post if you have to, because it seems that you missed a few key issues. I didn't say that I would kill myself if I hadn't found absolute, perfect happiness within two years. To wish to encounter total enlightenment in a two year period is quite preposterous. I said I would do it if I hadn't made any significant progress in that quest. "Significant progress" means something that gives me some kind of indication that sustained happiness is at least within the realm of the human experience and attainable. The idea you propose, that the meaning of life is simply to exist and perpetuate our viral species, is unacceptable to me. A life experience composed primarily of boredom and negativity just isn't worth the experience. Perhaps some people are just fine with that sort of existence. I'm not. The only available recourse is to find more out of life or perish.
Sidenote: You know, you called me an "emo boy". If that generalization were true I would just be feeling sorry for myself and bleeding on my keyboard right now. At least I'm making a plan and taking steps to make my life more enjoyable, thus avoiding the "last resort". Thanks for simply glossing over that fact. Illegitimizing one's emotion and then trivializing their attempts at self-improvement is a great way to dissuade them from suicide. Fuck off.
First of All, I apologize for being a World Class Arrogant Prick, It's what I do, I am in fact the devil's advocate in every situation.
Second, I guess I did misinterpret what I read and gave an incorrect response. From your reply I can see where what you meant was not what I thought you meant. You are in fact following the code and standard that I was raised to follow and believe "If you have a problem, Fix it." But I must admit I view the world differently than you, I've never vied for the easy way out... well, just once... so...
Fuck... Before i get off on spiritualism and my beliefs let me get my point across, I didn't mean to disregard your boredom with life and emotional status, and I'm sorry that every time I open my mouth I get everything wrong and make life worse for people, I forget how much power my word carries. So let me make the statement I should have, and meant to make, in the first reply.
I want to help you in your quest, because I wouldn't want to lose you as a friend. I'm sorry I got off on a pissy tangent, I apologize. I promise to think things out more before writing.
I'm sorry, Jay there's nothing funny about the thought of suicide, but your rant has brought me nothing but laughter. You Honestly believe that because you searched for 6 years to find happiness and it didn't arrive, that life isn't worth living? Might I remind you that 4 of those six years, if my math is correct, were in HIGH SCHOOL? The most absurd load of shit that we will EVER face in life? That is not a good judge of happiness.
Jay did you know that Paul, Gavin, and Jeremy just lost their house, lost their place to live because of financial troubles, and were forced to move back to their parent/guardian homes. Did you know that every day I wake up my knees and back are in seering pain from my years of drug use and self destruction at Amtgard? Did you know that my girlfriend has three spines? I want you to tell me honestly, Not what you want to make you happy.... But what reason you have to Be unhappy? Happiness is not something that is going to just arrive in the mail on an overnight flight Jay. Happiness is in your head. Let's even do an old favorite of mine... The Definition of Happiness - Good fortune, pleasure, contentment (oh i love that word), joy.
Contentment is the true nature of the game, I love that word so much. Contentment is to be well with you self and with the world. You want so much instant gratification because that's what this world has become, You can download the new WoW patch in five minutes so my enlightenment should come just as fast if not faster, and it just doesn't work that way. 2 more years isn't enough time to find what truly makes you happy it will never be. Happiness, enlightenment, It's not something that you can pencil in and see for lunch on Tuesday. It's not something you can schedule to just happen. Things happen that change our lives Hell, I swore I would give up on trying to find someone and some cute redhead fell into my lap. But in all honesty... The secret to happiness, is not to find things that make you happy, but to be happy with the things you have.
You have a strong circle of friends here Jay, ones that were willing to help you when you needed a place to stay, rooming with you, playing D&D, enjoying your company (yes i said it i enjoy your company shut the fuck up) and you would really risk that if you didn't find what you're looking for?
The meaning of life Jay, is to live... Whether for yourself, or for the great invisible man in the sky, or for the old pantheons, or for your family, or even (as I do on occasion) for the fucking sake of DOING IT... Live.
besides, if you die then there's no one to defend the opposed side to my views.
Reply
Now that we have that out of the way, I suppose I'll address your question of what I have to be unhappy about. Or rather, I'll non-address it. The fact of the matter is that I really don't have anything to be terribly unhappy about in the first place, or not any more of a reason than the next guy. The level of suffering I am or am not enduring was never the problem. The problem is the lack of enjoyment. I never said there was anything terribly wrong with my life, I just said that there was also nothing terribly right. Let the record show that you're the one who tried to turn it into a pissing and moaning contest. Reread my post if you have to, because it seems that you missed a few key issues. I didn't say that I would kill myself if I hadn't found absolute, perfect happiness within two years. To wish to encounter total enlightenment in a two year period is quite preposterous. I said I would do it if I hadn't made any significant progress in that quest. "Significant progress" means something that gives me some kind of indication that sustained happiness is at least within the realm of the human experience and attainable. The idea you propose, that the meaning of life is simply to exist and perpetuate our viral species, is unacceptable to me. A life experience composed primarily of boredom and negativity just isn't worth the experience. Perhaps some people are just fine with that sort of existence. I'm not. The only available recourse is to find more out of life or perish.
Sidenote: You know, you called me an "emo boy". If that generalization were true I would just be feeling sorry for myself and bleeding on my keyboard right now. At least I'm making a plan and taking steps to make my life more enjoyable, thus avoiding the "last resort". Thanks for simply glossing over that fact. Illegitimizing one's emotion and then trivializing their attempts at self-improvement is a great way to dissuade them from suicide. Fuck off.
Reply
Second, I guess I did misinterpret what I read and gave an incorrect response. From your reply I can see where what you meant was not what I thought you meant. You are in fact following the code and standard that I was raised to follow and believe "If you have a problem, Fix it." But I must admit I view the world differently than you, I've never vied for the easy way out... well, just once... so...
Fuck... Before i get off on spiritualism and my beliefs let me get my point across, I didn't mean to disregard your boredom with life and emotional status, and I'm sorry that every time I open my mouth I get everything wrong and make life worse for people, I forget how much power my word carries. So let me make the statement I should have, and meant to make, in the first reply.
I want to help you in your quest, because I wouldn't want to lose you as a friend. I'm sorry I got off on a pissy tangent, I apologize. I promise to think things out more before writing.
Reply
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