(no subject)

Nov 29, 2004 03:02

Well after telling my mom about moving out she quickly asked where are you gonna go and is like how are you gonna get medical stuff. And i answered and was like the thing about you offering to work with my dad was kinda shitty. And she's like So it was a crap thing is moving out gonna solve it? no but i said it'll help she laughed and left adn called my brother who i said would prolly be the only one she'd listen to he told her about it. When i was charging my phone in her car later on she came out crying and was pretty apologetic and i guess my brother brought up the fact that she's not just dealing with a criminal but someone's who's verging suicide. She said she never would've actually called my father. She hates him, i would never want you to see him lol.

We cried and the comment that stuck out the most the one which hurt the most was when she said I'm upset about you still drinking yes, because you know what it can do, how could you get into that, WE grew up with it. and that made me cry. Cause i really do have a lot of love for my family and my mom especially and for her to refer back to when it was just me and her really hit home. And i was afrraid i was gonna lose that little bond. I miss her.

so everything's still up in the air about me leaving. She said if i think it will help then go for it and if i need to come home i can. it felt good to have her support. We're going to social security tomorrow errr today to see if i can get disability for insurance and possibly more...

i don't want to be the alcoholic dad who lives on welfare all his life. but i guess it'll be good for now till i can get on fucking decent meds and all...

i really hope this isn't another episode coming up with it failing to give me adequate hope.

...au revoir mademoselle...
Previous post Next post
Up