Forever Young, I Wanna Be Forever Young
Lazy day today. I rolled out of bed and went to class, handed in my project. Got an A on my response paper, went back to bed, breakfast with Gabby. I broke the news about my maybe transferring. I could tell she was upset though she wouldn't admit it. I'm not sure if it's definitely something I want to do though and I have a while to decide...
Rich texted me at like 1 then didn't respond when I texted him back... I texted him again at like 6:30 or so then called him at like 8. We talked for a while but then he wanted to go to bed. He kept talking about the fashion show, I always get so cringy when he talks about it - I just feel so inadequate compared to his life there, like I don't deserve him and that we're from different worlds. I keep trying to tell myself that I don't have to compare myself to it because he wants me and that's all that matters but sometimes I think life would be so much easier if I went out with someone less extraordinary. I guess that's a weird thing to think, now that I'm reading it. But I am so insecure about our relationship all the time. Maybe that's why I keep hooking up with people, to have the upper hand.
Another weird thing with us is that the less we talk, the less I have to say to him. It makes me a bit nervous about our relationship, but I'm just so scared to be alone.
GOOD THINGS
1. Handed in my Proj.
2. Got an A on my response paper
3. Went to both my classes
4. Went to the gym
5. Had cornbread at the dining hall
6. Ran into Steve
7. Watched Rachel Getting Married, finally
8. Bonded with Marissa
PS - Keane's pretty underrated.
Rich texted me at like 1 then didn't respond when I texted him back... I texted him again at like 6:30 or so then called him at like 8. We talked for a while but then he wanted to go to bed. He kept talking about the fashion show, I always get so cringy when he talks about it - I just feel so inadequate compared to his life there, like I don't deserve him and that we're from different worlds. I keep trying to tell myself that I don't have to compare myself to it because he wants me and that's all that matters but sometimes I think life would be so much easier if I went out with someone less extraordinary. I guess that's a weird thing to think, now that I'm reading it. But I am so insecure about our relationship all the time. Maybe that's why I keep hooking up with people, to have the upper hand.
Another weird thing with us is that the less we talk, the less I have to say to him. It makes me a bit nervous about our relationship, but I'm just so scared to be alone.
GOOD THINGS
1. Handed in my Proj.
2. Got an A on my response paper
3. Went to both my classes
4. Went to the gym
5. Had cornbread at the dining hall
6. Ran into Steve
7. Watched Rachel Getting Married, finally
8. Bonded with Marissa
PS - Keane's pretty underrated.