(no subject)
Well tommorrow is the funeral. I'm so scared...I dont know how I'm gonna get through. I did so good today...I didnt cry, I was really proud of myself. Then I was talking to my mom and thinking about the funeral and going to the cematary and everything...and I just lost it. I went outside and just started bawlling!!! Tommorrow is gonna be so hard. I can't even believe all this is happening. It prolly sounds dumb, but my dad is taking some Drummond mud to burry with Bobby. We were talking tonight about doing a moment of silence at the Jamboree...for which I will lose it and my group will get see thier trail guide cry like a baby!!!
I'm gonna go to bed now. Just when I think I'm done crying...and I"ve cried all I can...somewhere my tear ducts fill again and my face & shirt are soaked. Tommorrow after the funeral and everything and I get home, Ray and I are prolly gonna do something. He's being so sweet and caring!!! He told me tongiht we could just go drive somewhere and he'd let me talk. But I think I'll need someone more tommorrow.
Its still so unfuckinbelieveable!!! I know Bobby would want the show to go on...and thats what the Jamboree this year will be about...no matter how hard it is without him. And it will be hard!!!
MISS YOU BOBBY!!!! :( :( :(