(no subject)
don't you just love it when you fuck up horribly with everyone and everything you know? oh yes. it's the greatest feeling in the world and the days just keep on getting harder. Last night sucked. My mom bothered me all day about what was wrong, I didn't want to tell her so I just stayed silent. Then she got mad at me and everything got blown up again and then I told her that I finally figured out what my problem was...where my all anger is coming from and she was so happy and then got pissed at me because I wouldn't tell her. Then my sister came over said some nasty things and my mom ended up making us both cry, telling us we were both horrible and treated her like shit. Maybe she should listen to herself and realize that the only reason we treat her the way we do, is because she treats us that way. My sister got her car taken away because she didn't pay her insurance and i got my cell phone taken away because the bill was off the wall due to so much text messaging and going on the internet when she took the computer away from me. But i don't care. i'm not going to talk on it to anyone anymore anyway and i'm fully capable of instant messaging and using the regular phone. I cried myself to sleep again because i started of thinking of people who died and how much i want to, but then realized that there might be someone out there in the future that might actually give a shit and i think there still is a few people that do. But then this morning sucked to because my mom continued yelling at me, my dog was being an asshole and i was told that i was a lazy piece of shit. so now that i am proving to them that i am a lazy piece of shit, i'm getting in even more trouble, there's no way out of it. i came very close to overdosing today...i started taking pain killers, but then stopped myself. there's no point in it. and now i'm at my dads house and i feel much better. i broke my promises, but who gives? once i go back to school and am able to spill my story to most likely...laura, i'll be fine. i repaired my relationship with my mother somewhat, due to the fact that fighting was taking too much energy. i've decided though, that i'm not letting anyone else in, and i'm kicking people out. restarting myself over.
my brother is chewing with his mouth disgustingly open, my dad's dog is looking at me, but her can't see me because his hair is in the way, and my sister is not understandable. my dad and i are going to get my christmas present later and everythings ok. i love being here...away from everyone and they treat me like a human being.
my brother is chewing with his mouth disgustingly open, my dad's dog is looking at me, but her can't see me because his hair is in the way, and my sister is not understandable. my dad and i are going to get my christmas present later and everythings ok. i love being here...away from everyone and they treat me like a human being.