Responsibility Unmasked
The amount of school work I still have to do just set in. I still have 2 full length novels to read and I still have to complete 1 research paper, 3 analytical papers, a short essay, and a seminar within the span of a month.
However, I find myself unable to work when I'm at home. Simple solution, go to school, but then the problem of food sets in. You see, I'm not eating properly. When I go to school to study I need to buy my food. I got into the habit of going to the grocery store and piecing together meals out of what was easily accessible and could be bought loosely. This pretty much confined my meals to an apple, a bagel, and nuts. However, this too began to cost too much. So, in the effort to save what little money I have I just drink copious amounts of coffee when I'm on campus and toil away starved all day.Obviously this alternative of mine is not a healthy option.
On a different note, once again my desire to transcend my sexual urges has resurfaced. I'm trying to find a blank zone in my mind where I can blend into the background of the humanity surrounding me. If I can ignore people they will ignore me and I can become another meaningless page in life's story. Now that sounds comfy.
I know this won't work, but thinking upon a life spent unrecognized sends a comfortable chill down my spine and makes sadness seem proper and easier to withstand.
However, I find myself unable to work when I'm at home. Simple solution, go to school, but then the problem of food sets in. You see, I'm not eating properly. When I go to school to study I need to buy my food. I got into the habit of going to the grocery store and piecing together meals out of what was easily accessible and could be bought loosely. This pretty much confined my meals to an apple, a bagel, and nuts. However, this too began to cost too much. So, in the effort to save what little money I have I just drink copious amounts of coffee when I'm on campus and toil away starved all day.Obviously this alternative of mine is not a healthy option.
On a different note, once again my desire to transcend my sexual urges has resurfaced. I'm trying to find a blank zone in my mind where I can blend into the background of the humanity surrounding me. If I can ignore people they will ignore me and I can become another meaningless page in life's story. Now that sounds comfy.
I know this won't work, but thinking upon a life spent unrecognized sends a comfortable chill down my spine and makes sadness seem proper and easier to withstand.