long time gone

[bucko083]

holy crap i can't believe i still have a livejournal! i lost my password it's been so long. so much has happend there is no way to put it all in. so i won't i'll go with the recent. my birthday has came and past and it was fairly lame i was in bed by 1130. but can't really blame anyone but me in that case. things have been a little crazy lately. i work two jobs now and plan to join the navy. i'm stay with my mom again and that's no fun. i'm single again(boooo). i'm dying to hang out and go out all the time but rarely do simply because i have no people to really go with. the people i most like to hang out with are married or dating and can't go out with me without their boyfriend or they are to messed up and broke all the time they can't and don't want to go out. i guess i should start living a little more rather than staying in a shell being scared of losing money. if i weren't so damn cheap i might have a good time. but that's only gonna change with time i guess. it's time for me to really look at my life and get my shit straight. i need to take away my fears and get new ones, if that makes sense.
current list:
being broke and not being able to pay bills
turning into the sad little boy i was in high school
not being able to make friends
not being able to keep old friends
becoming a super fatty lol
not being able to join the navy
not being able to lose the weight
CHANGE!!!

new list:
...

i guess i just need to see where life takes me. but the real thing is i need to let life take me where i'm ment to go. stop trying trying to force things to be what i'm used to and what is safe to me. embrace change don't fear it. i'm scared to death right now about what's gonna happen but i need to take off the training wheels and start new. i need to be ready for life. now lets see where this goes...