(no subject)
i hate feeling like i am being ignored.
like seriously wtf.
it has to be one of my biggest pet peeves, that and fuckin sales associates who get paid on commission [leave me the hell alone! i am quite capable thank you!]
anyways.
i hate it.
i want it, but i don't know.
i just wish i wasn't fucking being ignored!
i try and it blows up, i don't try and it blows up.
i lose each time.
why can't it be colabrative, please?
i never said it would be easy or even expected it to.
i know it wont be.
i just know i need to see him.
it would clear my head a little.
but then i don't know cause i don't know what's gone down.
and as much as i say i don't want to know, of course i do.
i have stopped myself in mid text, IM, or calling from asking because i really DON'T want to hear it if there is anything to be heard.
then i just drive myself even more insane.
it's sick.
just the mere mention makes me annoyed, and i knew it would.
and i know i asked for this basically and brought it on myself, but blah.
sometimes i wish i WAS an emotionaless bitch.
who gives a shit!
me!
fuck shit fuck.
I WANT TO TRY AND GET BACK TO BEING 100% SURE OF MY FEELINGS AND YOU AREN'T ALLOWING ME TO BY COMPLETELY CUTTING ME OUT OR MAKING IT A FUCKING ISSUE EVERYTIME I DO TRY.
you don't want to put forth any effort what so ever, and by coming here that'd be way too fucking much.
right, sure.
i hope you know that makes me less likely to want to try.
so why the fuck is he making it so difficult?
i just miss him that's all.
my best friend is gone and it sucks.
and i am scared.
really SCARED.
really, really.
scared shitless.
like seriously wtf.
it has to be one of my biggest pet peeves, that and fuckin sales associates who get paid on commission [leave me the hell alone! i am quite capable thank you!]
anyways.
i hate it.
i want it, but i don't know.
i just wish i wasn't fucking being ignored!
i try and it blows up, i don't try and it blows up.
i lose each time.
why can't it be colabrative, please?
i never said it would be easy or even expected it to.
i know it wont be.
i just know i need to see him.
it would clear my head a little.
but then i don't know cause i don't know what's gone down.
and as much as i say i don't want to know, of course i do.
i have stopped myself in mid text, IM, or calling from asking because i really DON'T want to hear it if there is anything to be heard.
then i just drive myself even more insane.
it's sick.
just the mere mention makes me annoyed, and i knew it would.
and i know i asked for this basically and brought it on myself, but blah.
sometimes i wish i WAS an emotionaless bitch.
who gives a shit!
me!
fuck shit fuck.
I WANT TO TRY AND GET BACK TO BEING 100% SURE OF MY FEELINGS AND YOU AREN'T ALLOWING ME TO BY COMPLETELY CUTTING ME OUT OR MAKING IT A FUCKING ISSUE EVERYTIME I DO TRY.
you don't want to put forth any effort what so ever, and by coming here that'd be way too fucking much.
right, sure.
i hope you know that makes me less likely to want to try.
so why the fuck is he making it so difficult?
i just miss him that's all.
my best friend is gone and it sucks.
and i am scared.
really SCARED.
really, really.
scared shitless.