SEQUEL: Until the Mountains Crumble to the Sea 2/2
anonymous
August 20 2010, 15:28:45 UTC
That was the first time in the five years he’d known Jim Kirk that he’d ever called him Leonard to his face. He’d thought a million times he’d be happy to outgrow that stupid ass nickname. He never thought it would hurt like this. Without meaning to, his face crumpled. “Jim, please… I…” He threw his hands up, part supplication, part frustration, and an angry sob tore through his throat. “I don’t know what the hell you want from me!”
“I want you to trust me. Why don’t you ever fucking trust me?! ” Jim’s face was red and close, too close. He’d never been dressed down by Kirk before, not really, but still Leonard knew that he’d never be like this, never so close to the edge.
Leonard swallowed down his fear, tried to stay calm. “What makes you think I don’t, Jim?”
“YOU NEVER TRUSTED ME!” Jim’s eyes widened. His mouth worked. And then he began to laugh. “Holy fuck, Leonard, you never trusted me! Even before this… this,” and he waved his arms like a broken windmill in a hurricane, “you never ever trusted me. And all this time I thought I was fighting the ghost of the ex-wife. What a fool.” He flopped his hands down and looked at Leonard with a wild smile that didn’t reach his shining, red eyes.
Leonard felt sick. “You didn’t answer my question, Jim. What makes-”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Leonard shook his head and shrugged at first, unable to come up with a situation.
“Thanks for the support.”
Leonard scratched his head at that one. That didn’t make a damn bit of -oh. Oh. “Jim…”
“But we did okay. We’re alive. We’re still alive. The ship is still okay, the crew is still okay. And you still don’t trust me.”
“I trust you with my life, Jim.”
“Sure. But not your heart.” Jim scrubbed at his nose, his cheeks, his eyes. “Irony’s a bitch.” He wrapped his arms around himself and tried, unsuccessfully, not to let his laughter turn into a soft, mournful wail.
“Yes it is,” Leonard agreed softly. He didn’t reach for Jim this time. “Jim, I’m sorry.”
It took a few minutes, but Jim pulled himself together. “No, I’m sorry. I just… fuck, I don’t even know. I don’t know.”
It’s now or never. Leonard captured Jim tightly in his arms, struggling roughly when Jim tried to push away. “Told you, ain’t lettin’ go.” Jim stilled at that. Good. Leonard smoothed a hand up Jim’s back, reaching for his hair, stroking, petting, calming. “You’re right, and I’m sorry, Jim. I’m so sorry, sugar.”
“Bones…”
He crushed Jim to himself. He was vaguely aware of his own blubbering, begging for forgiveness and understanding, but he was surprised when he fell backwards onto the bed, pulling Jim atop. He had no idea they’d been shuffling towards the sleeping area.
“Not tonight,” Jim whispered. Leonard’s breath caught in his throat. After all that, now Jim wanted to be cruel?
But Jim smiled sadly and curled up around his Bones, still uniformed from head to toe. “I want it to be happy, Bones. We have plenty of time for hate-sex and anger-sex and what-the-fuck-are-we-even-fighting-about-sex. There’s only one first time. I need you to be happy for it.”
“Oh, Jim. I already am.” Leonard looked down at their bodies. “Well… I will be, once you get those alien-grime-infested boots the hell off my goddamn bed.”
Jim’s laughter sounded like warm chocolate laced with whiskey.
SEQUEL: Until the Mountains Crumble to the Sea 2/2 OP
anonymous
August 20 2010, 21:26:42 UTC
Excellent companion, and now I'm good. Cause now Bones gets it. Still kinda heartbreaking, but the ah-ha moment was clear and very important. Makes it feel more like a beginning than an end, which is sort of how the kiss felt. Mostly because Jim was obviously still pissed. Loved it, don't get me wrong, but I think I love this more. Thanks again.
Re: SEQUEL: Until the Mountains Crumble to the Sea 2/2thistleroseAugust 28 2010, 03:43:40 UTC
I loved this! I'm glad you wrote a follow-up, even though I'm fond of bittersweet. The happy ending feels more earned now, and I really like the moment when Bones fully understands how deeply Jim's been hurt. Oh, my poor boys.
Re: SEQUEL: Until the Mountains Crumble to the Sea 2/2treksnoopyAugust 30 2010, 03:33:42 UTC
Awesome follow-up! I'm so glad you posted it because I'm a total sap and love for things to end on a positive note.It doesn't always have to be happy...just promising. The first one had a little promise, but the second one is just so much more. *sappiness oozes*
“I want you to trust me. Why don’t you ever fucking trust me?! ” Jim’s face was red and close, too close. He’d never been dressed down by Kirk before, not really, but still Leonard knew that he’d never be like this, never so close to the edge.
Leonard swallowed down his fear, tried to stay calm. “What makes you think I don’t, Jim?”
“YOU NEVER TRUSTED ME!” Jim’s eyes widened. His mouth worked. And then he began to laugh. “Holy fuck, Leonard, you never trusted me! Even before this… this,” and he waved his arms like a broken windmill in a hurricane, “you never ever trusted me. And all this time I thought I was fighting the ghost of the ex-wife. What a fool.” He flopped his hands down and looked at Leonard with a wild smile that didn’t reach his shining, red eyes.
Leonard felt sick. “You didn’t answer my question, Jim. What makes-”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Leonard shook his head and shrugged at first, unable to come up with a situation.
“Thanks for the support.”
Leonard scratched his head at that one. That didn’t make a damn bit of -oh. Oh. “Jim…”
“But we did okay. We’re alive. We’re still alive. The ship is still okay, the crew is still okay. And you still don’t trust me.”
“I trust you with my life, Jim.”
“Sure. But not your heart.” Jim scrubbed at his nose, his cheeks, his eyes. “Irony’s a bitch.” He wrapped his arms around himself and tried, unsuccessfully, not to let his laughter turn into a soft, mournful wail.
“Yes it is,” Leonard agreed softly. He didn’t reach for Jim this time. “Jim, I’m sorry.”
It took a few minutes, but Jim pulled himself together. “No, I’m sorry. I just… fuck, I don’t even know. I don’t know.”
It’s now or never. Leonard captured Jim tightly in his arms, struggling roughly when Jim tried to push away. “Told you, ain’t lettin’ go.” Jim stilled at that. Good. Leonard smoothed a hand up Jim’s back, reaching for his hair, stroking, petting, calming. “You’re right, and I’m sorry, Jim. I’m so sorry, sugar.”
“Bones…”
He crushed Jim to himself. He was vaguely aware of his own blubbering, begging for forgiveness and understanding, but he was surprised when he fell backwards onto the bed, pulling Jim atop. He had no idea they’d been shuffling towards the sleeping area.
“Not tonight,” Jim whispered. Leonard’s breath caught in his throat. After all that, now Jim wanted to be cruel?
But Jim smiled sadly and curled up around his Bones, still uniformed from head to toe. “I want it to be happy, Bones. We have plenty of time for hate-sex and anger-sex and what-the-fuck-are-we-even-fighting-about-sex. There’s only one first time. I need you to be happy for it.”
“Oh, Jim. I already am.” Leonard looked down at their bodies. “Well… I will be, once you get those alien-grime-infested boots the hell off my goddamn bed.”
Jim’s laughter sounded like warm chocolate laced with whiskey.
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Thanks again.
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I've been trying to get the whole 'bones finally realizes how much that hurt' for freakin' evar, and here you go making it look easy...
Btw, I gift you my icon that totally goes with this. There you go.
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