“Daddy, where are all my pictures?” Joanna asks from the table. She’s coloring again and he’s watching her.
“Don’t you like them any more?” She looks so hurt.
He loved the pictures. They were on real paper too, made with crayons that he and Jim had bought at a Starbase. They had hung them up all over their quarters. They were gone.
Bones looks around the room and notices other things are missing. All the holos of Joanna are gone as well as the holos of his diplomas that Jim insisted they hang up. The calendar too, the one the he had bought for Jim for something… he can’t remember what, something important. They’re all gone.
When Joanna goes down for a nap he tares the place apart. It was funny when it was just the hypos that they hid but everything, its too much. Jim had no right!
Jim was always hiding things, had been since the academy. If Bones knows anything it’s Jim so he knows where to look. In the back of the closet he finds it, a pillow cases. Ripping one open he finds millions of pieces of paper. In another one he finds the holos of Joanna and other things…
Then it’s hard to breathe. The buzzing in his body feels like fire. Then he’s screaming. Then nothing.
Later, Bones wakes up in his bed to Jim running his fingers through his hair.
“It’s ok Bones, we’re going back. It’s going to be ok.” Jim whispers it over and over again.
His mind isn’t quite working right, it refuses to tell his body to move. He wants to reach out and touch Jim, he looks so sad.
“Daddy ,” says the small voice from the hallway.
“ I had a nightmare. Can I sleep with you and uncle Jim tonight?”
Bones looks to Jim but really why would he mind? Jim takes his face in his hands and kisses him gently but can’t look him in the eyes.
“ Of course baby, climb in.”
Joanna nestles into the warm spot in between him and Jim. This where she fits best, where she’s safe.
He drifts off again but vaguely feels moisture on his chest, tears. Joanna must have had one bad nightmare. ~ After the nightmare night Joanna isn’t hungry that much so they don’t go the mess. This worries Jim.
“Bones you have to eat something.” “We’re not hungry Jim. Now don’t you have something to be doing besides bother us? Can’t you see we’re playing a game?”
Jim stands there, hands shaking and pressed up against his mouth.
“ I know Bones I know.” then he leaves.
He comes back later with a peach pie from the mess. He cuts Bones a piece and leaves it on the table.
Joanna looks at him expectantly licking her lips. Peach is her favorite. Bones smiles and pushes the plate towards her, glad she’s eating again.
“No, Bones. That was your piece.” Jim says swallowing hard. “ I’ll cut…I’ll cut her another ok?”
They all eat their pie together in silence. ~ Bones has stopped working to spend more time with his daughter but Jim insists that he go with him to the surface of Malkern. He orders him in his best Captain voice. Bones and Joanna both sit laughing on the floor till they cry.
Then Jim begs. He pulls Bones into a big hug and actually begs him to go down to the surface.
Malkern, it sounds familiar but when Bones thinks about it he buzzes. Sometimes he thinks he can remember going there before. He remembers Jim lying on the ground bleeding. He remembers a call coming in to sickbay. He remembers feeling something and beaming down. It was the first time he had left the ship since….. It was the fist time since it happened. Something, something important that he was missing.
Now Jim was begging him to go, so he does. He can’t find his science blues to wear but then something makes him remember they wouldn’t fit anyways- too big.
“ It’s ok Bones, you can wear whatever you want.” Jim tells him.
He gets Uhura to watch Joanna for them. He trusts her. Joanna is nervous about being left alone but she likes Uhura. It must be a girl thing.
Bones finds it hard to move. Jim has to help him by pulling his arms around him. A big human crutch, something to lean on.
Joanna walks with them to the transport room and holds his hand.
“Please come back Leo.” Uhura whispers to him as they leave. Come back from where?
Joanna blows him a kiss on the platform. Then he disappears.
The Malkerns look human expect for their eyes which are purple. All of them, purples eyes. They are also empaths and their home world is rich in dilithum. Three weeks ago the Enterprise had been sent to Malkern to help in their entrance into the Federation.
Three weeks ago an extremist had tried to murder their queen before she could sign them into the Federation. Jim Kirk had pushed her out of the way.
Bones hadn’t been there. He had been on the ship but had come down because Jim needed him and he was the CMO. He remembers this now. Why were they back?
This time they transport into the main receiving hall, they have an audience.
Bones feels the buzzing again, so bad that he drops to his knee in front of the crowd that seems to have been expecting them.
“What did you do to him?” It’s Jim who asks, or yells, to the queen. She hardly seems surprised that they’re there.
“ Your One, is he not better?”
“Better?”
“ More able to continue? Was this not what you wanted?” She asks him.
“What I wanted? This is not what I wanted! He’s seeing his dea- he’s hallucinating for shit’s sake. You did this, you fix it.”
Bones can’t see anymore through the fog is his brain. He’s so confused that the finally understands, the buzzing in his body has reached new levels.
The queen walks over to him and puts a cool hand on his face and smiles. Her eyes aren’t purple anymore, they’re gray. She’s Joanna, his baby girl, right there in front of him and he remembers.
Four months before their original mission to Malkern Bones stopped eating. His hands shook, he stopped being CMO. He tried to stop being, loaded the hypos. Jim had found him first on the floor of their bathroom. He remembers holding him while he sobbed, he remembers sleeping on the floor because he couldn’t sleep with Jim but had to be near him. Everything had to hurt a little, he needed the hard floor.
He ripped every picture off the wall of their quarters.
He only beamed down to the planet that day because he couldn’t loose Jim too. He didn’t care about any dam queen but she cared about him. She gave him what he wanted the most. The chance to see Joanna. She just messed it up a bit. Didn’t understand that humans don’t live the same way that they did on Malkern. That everyone always saw the same thing, except for when they didn‘t. That for a person to exist they had to exist for everyone.
“It’s ok daddy.” Joanna says putting her hands on his face.
Bones hurts everywhere. He’s seeing his daughter who died four months ago on an alien planet. He’s seeing her so he must be crazy. He’s seeing her so why would he want to be sane?
“Please don’t leave me Bones, you promised.” It’s Jim again. He’s so tired, they both are. Always so tired.
“Please.” Jim Jim Jim.
“Goodbye.” Bones says closing his eyes and embracing the darkness.
I love the ambiguous ending. Like it could be Bones dying, but I'm taking it as him saying goodbye to Joanna and the darkness is the world without her.
Wow, I just loved this! It's so heartbreaking, I had to hold back the tears while I was reading. And I love the ending, the way you left it open to interpretation. It's like he's having to choose between the madness of keeping Joanna alive and Jim. I like to think he chose Jim but it could go either way really. This was just so sad.
Thank you for filling this! It's everything I wanted and more!
Re: OP Here!pearlstar178July 20 2010, 22:18:23 UTC
I really glad you liked ! I was worried that maybe I didn't fill it the way you wanted. I'm glad you liked the ending. Thank you for the lovely prompt!
Re: Filled 3/3bandearg_roisOctober 5 2010, 23:10:39 UTC
I have been on the verge of tears since I started reading this, because I have been imagining my 4 year old as Joanna and the only reason i'm not crying is because there are kids around who would look at me weird...
“Daddy, where are all my pictures?” Joanna asks from the table. She’s coloring again and he’s watching her.
“Don’t you like them any more?” She looks so hurt.
He loved the pictures. They were on real paper too, made with crayons that he and Jim had bought at a Starbase. They had hung them up all over their quarters. They were gone.
Bones looks around the room and notices other things are missing. All the holos of Joanna are gone as well as the holos of his diplomas that Jim insisted they hang up. The calendar too, the one the he had bought for Jim for something… he can’t remember what, something important. They’re all gone.
When Joanna goes down for a nap he tares the place apart. It was funny when it was just the hypos that they hid but everything, its too much. Jim had no right!
Jim was always hiding things, had been since the academy. If Bones knows anything it’s Jim so he knows where to look. In the back of the closet he finds it, a pillow cases. Ripping one open he finds millions of pieces of paper. In another one he finds the holos of Joanna and other things…
Then it’s hard to breathe. The buzzing in his body feels like fire. Then he’s screaming. Then nothing.
Later, Bones wakes up in his bed to Jim running his fingers through his hair.
“It’s ok Bones, we’re going back. It’s going to be ok.” Jim whispers it over and over again.
His mind isn’t quite working right, it refuses to tell his body to move. He wants to reach out and touch Jim, he looks so sad.
“Daddy ,” says the small voice from the hallway.
“ I had a nightmare. Can I sleep with you and uncle Jim tonight?”
Bones looks to Jim but really why would he mind? Jim takes his face in his hands and kisses him gently but can’t look him in the eyes.
“ Of course baby, climb in.”
Joanna nestles into the warm spot in between him and Jim. This where she fits best, where she’s safe.
He drifts off again but vaguely feels moisture on his chest, tears. Joanna must have had one bad nightmare.
~
After the nightmare night Joanna isn’t hungry that much so they don’t go the mess. This worries Jim.
“Bones you have to eat something.”
“We’re not hungry Jim. Now don’t you have something to be doing besides bother us? Can’t you see we’re playing a game?”
Jim stands there, hands shaking and pressed up against his mouth.
“ I know Bones I know.” then he leaves.
He comes back later with a peach pie from the mess. He cuts Bones a piece and leaves it on the table.
Joanna looks at him expectantly licking her lips. Peach is her favorite. Bones smiles and pushes the plate towards her, glad she’s eating again.
“No, Bones. That was your piece.” Jim says swallowing hard. “ I’ll cut…I’ll cut her another ok?”
They all eat their pie together in silence.
~
Bones has stopped working to spend more time with his daughter but Jim insists that he go with him to the surface of Malkern. He orders him in his best Captain voice. Bones and Joanna both sit laughing on the floor till they cry.
Then Jim begs. He pulls Bones into a big hug and actually begs him to go down to the surface.
Malkern, it sounds familiar but when Bones thinks about it he buzzes. Sometimes he thinks he can remember going there before. He remembers Jim lying on the ground bleeding. He remembers a call coming in to sickbay. He remembers feeling something and beaming down. It was the first time he had left the ship since….. It was the fist time since it happened. Something, something important that he was missing.
Now Jim was begging him to go, so he does. He can’t find his science blues to wear but then something makes him remember they wouldn’t fit anyways- too big.
“ It’s ok Bones, you can wear whatever you want.” Jim tells him.
He gets Uhura to watch Joanna for them. He trusts her. Joanna is nervous about being left alone but she likes Uhura. It must be a girl thing.
Bones finds it hard to move. Jim has to help him by pulling his arms around him. A big human crutch, something to lean on.
Joanna walks with them to the transport room and holds his hand.
“Please come back Leo.” Uhura whispers to him as they leave. Come back from where?
Joanna blows him a kiss on the platform. Then he disappears.
Reply
Three weeks ago an extremist had tried to murder their queen before she could sign them into the Federation. Jim Kirk had pushed her out of the way.
Bones hadn’t been there. He had been on the ship but had come down because Jim needed him and he was the CMO. He remembers this now. Why were they back?
This time they transport into the main receiving hall, they have an audience.
Bones feels the buzzing again, so bad that he drops to his knee in front of the crowd that seems to have been expecting them.
“What did you do to him?” It’s Jim who asks, or yells, to the queen. She hardly seems surprised that they’re there.
“ Your One, is he not better?”
“Better?”
“ More able to continue? Was this not what you wanted?” She asks him.
“What I wanted? This is not what I wanted! He’s seeing his dea- he’s hallucinating for shit’s sake. You did this, you fix it.”
Bones can’t see anymore through the fog is his brain. He’s so confused that the finally understands, the buzzing in his body has reached new levels.
The queen walks over to him and puts a cool hand on his face and smiles. Her eyes aren’t purple anymore, they’re gray. She’s Joanna, his baby girl, right there in front of him and he remembers.
Four months before their original mission to Malkern Bones stopped eating. His hands shook, he stopped being CMO. He tried to stop being, loaded the hypos. Jim had found him first on the floor of their bathroom. He remembers holding him while he sobbed, he remembers sleeping on the floor because he couldn’t sleep with Jim but had to be near him. Everything had to hurt a little, he needed the hard floor.
He ripped every picture off the wall of their quarters.
He only beamed down to the planet that day because he couldn’t loose Jim too. He didn’t care about any dam queen but she cared about him. She gave him what he wanted the most. The chance to see Joanna. She just messed it up a bit. Didn’t understand that humans don’t live the same way that they did on Malkern. That everyone always saw the same thing, except for when they didn‘t. That for a person to exist they had to exist for everyone.
“It’s ok daddy.” Joanna says putting her hands on his face.
Bones hurts everywhere. He’s seeing his daughter who died four months ago on an alien planet. He’s seeing her so he must be crazy. He’s seeing her so why would he want to be sane?
“Please don’t leave me Bones, you promised.” It’s Jim again. He’s so tired, they both are. Always so tired.
“Please.” Jim Jim Jim.
“Goodbye.” Bones says closing his eyes and embracing the darkness.
Reply
I love the ambiguous ending. Like it could be Bones dying, but I'm taking it as him saying goodbye to Joanna and the darkness is the world without her.
Reply
Reply
BRB. Sobbing hysterically.
Reply
** hands you a tissue***
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Thank you for filling this! It's everything I wanted and more!
Reply
Reply
Reply
I love you?
Reply
Leave a comment