Despair and Renewal
Im not sure if anyone read my away message on saturday night, but basically it summed up my entire feelings on the weekend up until this point. I was beginning to feel as if the only way i and college sutdents in general can have fun was to be drinking. This got me started on how much the world sucks and i basically lost all hope in people in general. Obviously this is quite a depressing thought, and it was only more validated with every observation i made of many of the people in my hall. So as you can imagine i was beginning to feel despair at the shitty condition we have found ourselves in. Then i went to 10:00 mass for the first time here. WOW. i have never felt more renewed in my entire life. Just sitting there and seeing all of the kids my age united for one thing was for some reason so awesome. Mass has always been so boring for me but this one actually sent chilll up my spine several times. It was just so great to see everyone singing and participating, and i knew everyone wanted to be there because this is college. It stood in such stark contrast to a Watterson mass where everyone is forced to be there. At peace, the students hugged and sang a song instead of shaking hands. That was so cool. Nothing about the structure of the mass was different, but from the moment i walked in before mass started i could feel the energy of the room. In fact it really started when i saw what looked like everyone walking towards the chapel in the darkness. I've never been a hardcore Catholic, and i likely still wont be, but it definately made me more hopeful for the world. It was better and more genuine than the feeling from senior retreat last year. It's funny how something unexpected can change your whole outlook in a second, but i'm definately in a good mood now.