Betty will not be pleased.
so i have this new job. it is a stupid one. but i actually like it a lot. almost everyone i work with for the most part is a complete stiff, so i can sit around an make fun of them all day long to the two people i work with who aren't complete stiffs. My boss is like Betty, from "Kung Pow:Enter the Fist," one of the greatest movies ever made.
my beef is my title. I write loans. But i am an Account Executive. I don't have an accounts. i have some goddamn loans. I'm not an executive over anyone, nor to i make executive decisions, nor do i have any sort of authority (this is a whole different gay subject, because i would like some). So i get this business card at this new job i have and it says Account Executive. So i cross it out and write Senior Loan Officer, because thats what my old business cards said, and that is what i do - officiate loans. Senior just sounds like i know what i'm doing. Well. Fucking EVERYONE in 2004 is an Account Exec. A secretary is not a secretary. A secretary is an Account Exec. And so is a personal trainer. And so is the garbage guy. Everyone has a title, and they all apparently do the same thing i do.
Well fuck that shit. Rules suck.
So i threw my business cards away today and called the number on the box. I told them i wasn't happy with them. I was not an account exec, i was a Regional Vice President (RVP! a title that can be abbreviated with THREE letters!!!). I wanted gold parchment embossed cards, not stupid paper white ones. I wanted a picture.
Well do you have a picture you can send us?
Why yes i do. Here is what i sent them:
I am a huge asset to the office, believe it or not. Betty has threatened termination exactly 2 times now. Wait'll he gets a load of this. hooooo. I'm pushing the three month mark, i'm trying to make it exactly 90 days so i can get bene's kicked in, get all my meds stocked up, and if they can me, at least i'll be good for a while. heh.
my beef is my title. I write loans. But i am an Account Executive. I don't have an accounts. i have some goddamn loans. I'm not an executive over anyone, nor to i make executive decisions, nor do i have any sort of authority (this is a whole different gay subject, because i would like some). So i get this business card at this new job i have and it says Account Executive. So i cross it out and write Senior Loan Officer, because thats what my old business cards said, and that is what i do - officiate loans. Senior just sounds like i know what i'm doing. Well. Fucking EVERYONE in 2004 is an Account Exec. A secretary is not a secretary. A secretary is an Account Exec. And so is a personal trainer. And so is the garbage guy. Everyone has a title, and they all apparently do the same thing i do.
Well fuck that shit. Rules suck.
So i threw my business cards away today and called the number on the box. I told them i wasn't happy with them. I was not an account exec, i was a Regional Vice President (RVP! a title that can be abbreviated with THREE letters!!!). I wanted gold parchment embossed cards, not stupid paper white ones. I wanted a picture.
Well do you have a picture you can send us?
Why yes i do. Here is what i sent them:
I am a huge asset to the office, believe it or not. Betty has threatened termination exactly 2 times now. Wait'll he gets a load of this. hooooo. I'm pushing the three month mark, i'm trying to make it exactly 90 days so i can get bene's kicked in, get all my meds stocked up, and if they can me, at least i'll be good for a while. heh.