I'm a horrible friend

[buckaroobecky]

So I feel like I'm just a horrible friend. I don't try much anymore to call everyone because my phone bills will get too high or I'm just so busy that I forget. Kinda' like I get so busy at work that when I have the urge to pee I don't actually have time to go until like 1/2 hour later when it's either go pee in the bathroom on on my chair. Then

Comments

[sugarschack]

Ooooh, I'm sorry that you have blue days too. I really hate that, I get them quite a lot when Kevin's gone... considering he's only been home for 6 weeks since June....and he won't be home until mid-Feb. We're having a rough time now. We're sick of the long-distance and I love him so much and I know he wants to be with me forever. And for me, to say that and admit it to myself is a big thing. That I know someone wants to be with me a whole bunch, but at the same time I can't help but be selfish and think, well if he wanted to be with me so bad, then how come he is doing a profession like hydrography. Sure it makes him a ton of money and it is nice when he is home because we get to live the hi-life, but damn it, I hate feeling almost single living in this big apartment downtown all by myself.

I guess it's quite silly we each feel sorry about ourselves for completely different reasons but ultimately we just don't like being/feeling alone. Whether we are alone or not. I'm finding myself trying to get more hobbies and doing a job where I meet a lot of people I have a lot in common with. Are you making enough money you could afford an art class or something... something where talking wasn't too neccesary but you still got to be in a class/friendly enviornment?

I'm sorry we're not as close as friends as we used to be. The thing though is that if you were to come back right now, everything would be back to normal and we would pick back up where we left off. We'd just have to take a few hours to fill in all the unknown tid-bits. THAT GOES THE SAME FOR YOU BECCA!

[sykomonkeyfreak]

Gosh, all communicating through Live Journal. People are always asking me why I write on here so much and its primarily for you too but in addition a release. I know exactly how you feel about being bad at contacting us, but dont' feel bad. We all are. And personally, I know for a fact I'm the worse. At least you guys try calling me on my birthday and stuff. Anyway, as for relationships, I agree with an earlier statement of Rebecca's, I think this is the first time that we are all seriously seeing someone. And with all relationships (as we seem to be reading about on here), they all have their issues. Distance and different plans for the future seem to be the hardest to come by. Its where we really have to ask ourselves how much are we willing to sacrifice for these guys. In Karla's case, she is sacrificing having to be apart for long periods at a time. In Rebecca's case, its huge because you have so many roles you know you were meant to play and Arturo might prevent that from happening. In my case its, do I stay for another 4 years year and wait around for Troy or do I follow my other dreams and get the hell out of Cincinnati in a year and a half? These are all big problems. And I agree with you Rebecca, that its easier to not think about it, and I agree with Karle because we need to live in the now. The problem is, we can't live day to day. At least I can't. My mind is always to the future but I do keep the present in mind. I use the present as my path to the future though. So at least right now for me, I'm not changing any of my plans for the future. And if anything, I'll end up postponing them. Rebecca - I know having a family is extremely important to you, infact, I personally know because I feel like I;m ready to start popping them out myself. That is why something like being with a man that doesn't want that is so difficult. Sure, he hasn't come out just yet and said, "I don't want to get married" but he has come out and said he isn't interested in having children. Ok, interest aside....what about willing? Ha. Because if he isn't willing to have a family with you, then you have to ask yourself what to do next. You can still have your fun with Arturo but how much is it going to really work later on if you have different plans? I think you going to the Phillipines is a great thing. Sure it sounds harsh but I think it will help both you and Arturo to analyse your situations. Distance is always a great test to any relationship. It will be hard and you will be even sadder out there without him and for so long, but something will come of it. And hopefully that something will help you with your relationship. I mean, hell, if it really works, then the second you get home Arturo will have his arms so wide open there will be room for a good talk about the future.

You both know how much I love you and how amazing our lives would be if we could all live near each other again, but life tends to physically seperate friends all the time. However, we are blessed that in our case, the three of us will always be best friends no matter how far about we are and no matter how much we don't talk. I'm just wishing I could count the days to how long I could see you again. Maybe some day the three of us will all be rich and and get to visit each other once a year or so. Lets cross our fingers girls!