"Speak To Me"
I'm writing this shortly after working out, so my arms are all wobbly right now. Oy.
"Do you like the clothes she wears today?
Colliding love affair against a shade
Often times I wish she'd speak to me
Her holy open book, a world revealed to see"
Went to a place called Quaker Steak And Lube"for dinner last night. This place was just awesome. There were motorcycles hanging all over from the ceiling. There was even this Green and Black Nightster that caught my eye. When I wasn't looking at TJ, I was looking at it.
We talked alot about relationships and things. She talked alot more about her Ex, (Ironically, also named Chris.). I learned alot more about that, but I still don't know much at all. They only dated for about 9 months, getting together shortly after his divorce finalized. It's very obvious that she was far more into, and serious, about the relationship than he was. This is what prompted her whole "Why can't people just say what they mean?" Question that she'd put down a few weeks back.
I'm still not sure exactly how long ago they broke up. I just haven't asked yet. She talked alot about feelings of insecurity, thinking she was mis-reading things, or overreacting, or whatever. It felt like looking in a mirror. I've spent my whole life feeling things, but believing that they were wrong, I was wrong.
It made me feel very, very stupid.
We both cut from the same cloth in many respects. She knows she's smart, she wants better, wants to believe that she deserves better,but somewhere deep inside, still feels that she really doesn't.
There had been a few things I had been wanting to tell her, but had been holding off on, because I was waiting for the right time. That seemed like it, so I told her.
I told her that she was awesome. smart, funny, engaging, independent, and beautiful. I told her that she was worth so much more, and that anyone wouldn't couldn't see these things, and couldn't treat her in the way she wanted to be, then they did not deserve her in their lives.
It was hard for me to say those things, and I said so, but I also said that I said them because I believe it, and that she deserves to know it.
She didn't really react every much, just said "thank you for saying those things", and it was sort of left at that. I'm still not sure how to take that, but it makes me wonder if i'm not really barking up the wrong tree here.
Sometimes I just don't know how to act around her, or what feelings are, and are not appropriate. Despite the fact that we have both openly expressed that we like each other and like spending time together, I still find myself feeling very uncertain.
I know that she's still hurting over her breakup. She's said many times that she wants to move on, but is also aware of how she's holding on too. I don't think that she really wants to get back together, but she hasn't actually said either way.
I want to make a move, or do something, but the last thing I want to do is put her under any more pressure or anything. On one hand, I feel like there's nothing but time here, and i'm really in no rush, but on the other hand, i'm very aware that these things do often have a hidden time limit. The fact that Larry is trying to set her up on a date with someone illustrates that fact very, very well.
I just don't know what to do right now. I need time to think about it, but I don't know that I HAVE the time either. I just don't know right now.
I know what I want, I just don't know if it's the right thing, or the right time.
She's supposed to call me sometime today, but I don't know when, or even if. So, I don't know what to do with myself in the meantime. Workout is done, and I do need to hit some stores. It's such a nice day out though, i'm thinking I should find another mountain road to hit and go riding for a few hours. Perhaps that will help clear my head.
"Do you like the clothes she wears today?
Colliding love affair against a shade
Often times I wish she'd speak to me
Her holy open book, a world revealed to see"
Went to a place called Quaker Steak And Lube"for dinner last night. This place was just awesome. There were motorcycles hanging all over from the ceiling. There was even this Green and Black Nightster that caught my eye. When I wasn't looking at TJ, I was looking at it.
We talked alot about relationships and things. She talked alot more about her Ex, (Ironically, also named Chris.). I learned alot more about that, but I still don't know much at all. They only dated for about 9 months, getting together shortly after his divorce finalized. It's very obvious that she was far more into, and serious, about the relationship than he was. This is what prompted her whole "Why can't people just say what they mean?" Question that she'd put down a few weeks back.
I'm still not sure exactly how long ago they broke up. I just haven't asked yet. She talked alot about feelings of insecurity, thinking she was mis-reading things, or overreacting, or whatever. It felt like looking in a mirror. I've spent my whole life feeling things, but believing that they were wrong, I was wrong.
It made me feel very, very stupid.
We both cut from the same cloth in many respects. She knows she's smart, she wants better, wants to believe that she deserves better,but somewhere deep inside, still feels that she really doesn't.
There had been a few things I had been wanting to tell her, but had been holding off on, because I was waiting for the right time. That seemed like it, so I told her.
I told her that she was awesome. smart, funny, engaging, independent, and beautiful. I told her that she was worth so much more, and that anyone wouldn't couldn't see these things, and couldn't treat her in the way she wanted to be, then they did not deserve her in their lives.
It was hard for me to say those things, and I said so, but I also said that I said them because I believe it, and that she deserves to know it.
She didn't really react every much, just said "thank you for saying those things", and it was sort of left at that. I'm still not sure how to take that, but it makes me wonder if i'm not really barking up the wrong tree here.
Sometimes I just don't know how to act around her, or what feelings are, and are not appropriate. Despite the fact that we have both openly expressed that we like each other and like spending time together, I still find myself feeling very uncertain.
I know that she's still hurting over her breakup. She's said many times that she wants to move on, but is also aware of how she's holding on too. I don't think that she really wants to get back together, but she hasn't actually said either way.
I want to make a move, or do something, but the last thing I want to do is put her under any more pressure or anything. On one hand, I feel like there's nothing but time here, and i'm really in no rush, but on the other hand, i'm very aware that these things do often have a hidden time limit. The fact that Larry is trying to set her up on a date with someone illustrates that fact very, very well.
I just don't know what to do right now. I need time to think about it, but I don't know that I HAVE the time either. I just don't know right now.
I know what I want, I just don't know if it's the right thing, or the right time.
She's supposed to call me sometime today, but I don't know when, or even if. So, I don't know what to do with myself in the meantime. Workout is done, and I do need to hit some stores. It's such a nice day out though, i'm thinking I should find another mountain road to hit and go riding for a few hours. Perhaps that will help clear my head.