(no subject)
ASU is really getting me down.
My teachers disappoint me. They don't push me to my potential. Then they expect too much. I have one teacher (with whom I will have at least 1 more class) who is pretty much unorganized and is almost like an elementary school teacher. She seems knowledgeable enough, but she doesn't exude confidence. I have another teacher who is practically my age and seems really laid back, but then he'll make us turn in our class notes for grading. Overall, however, most if not all of my teachers make promises about how things should be done and then let it slide when it doesn't happen. Attendance and tardiness is a big one. Many comments will be made about how it's not only hurtful to you to miss or be late for class; it's also rude to fellow students and teachers. But, when class starts and stragglers come in late, it's just ignored more or less. I bust my ass to get to class not on time, but early. Not only do I not get recognition for my integrity and effort, but the lazy people don't get penalized for their actions.
Guitar ensemble is almost a joke. I learned my parts for every piece before spring break (which was last week) and I still practice the stuff, even faster than we're playing it in class. Then I come in and half the people can't even play it slow. It's a waste of time for me because I know how to play everything, and class time should be spent improving the group's performance as a whole, not spent going over parts that people should be able to play individually by now. You learn how to do it, then you spend the rest of the semester improving it and making it work together. That's how an ensemble operates. I feel like a laughing stock sometimes because the guitar majors are typically thought of as bottom of the barrel when it comes to "real musicians" in the school. The slack nature of the guitarists here only further supports that belief among the other music majors and professors alike.
I hate where I live. I live on THE other end of campus from all my classes. It's a 20+ minute walk to any of them. Half the time I'm dragging my guitar along as well. Down a hill, up a hill, down a hill again and crossing streets. That's just one way. It really annoys me when I get there, and that class has been canceled, or we only stay for 10 minutes before being dismissed.
Almost every day I think "This is going to get better. Next semester is when it's going to happen. My classes will be better, I'll learn a little bit more, I'll enjoy it a little bit more." But it never happens. I'm putting forth the effort, but the results I get are usually not what I want. Is this really what school is about? Am I just supposed to eventually figure out that the things that I want are unattainable, even when I do what is required and more? Do the people that don't deserve it get the things I want? Every day it seems more and more that way. My morals, beliefs, integrity and zest for life seem to be unrecognized these days. The world is in one big hurry to its own demise. Maybe when that time comes, I'll be the one left standing.
My teachers disappoint me. They don't push me to my potential. Then they expect too much. I have one teacher (with whom I will have at least 1 more class) who is pretty much unorganized and is almost like an elementary school teacher. She seems knowledgeable enough, but she doesn't exude confidence. I have another teacher who is practically my age and seems really laid back, but then he'll make us turn in our class notes for grading. Overall, however, most if not all of my teachers make promises about how things should be done and then let it slide when it doesn't happen. Attendance and tardiness is a big one. Many comments will be made about how it's not only hurtful to you to miss or be late for class; it's also rude to fellow students and teachers. But, when class starts and stragglers come in late, it's just ignored more or less. I bust my ass to get to class not on time, but early. Not only do I not get recognition for my integrity and effort, but the lazy people don't get penalized for their actions.
Guitar ensemble is almost a joke. I learned my parts for every piece before spring break (which was last week) and I still practice the stuff, even faster than we're playing it in class. Then I come in and half the people can't even play it slow. It's a waste of time for me because I know how to play everything, and class time should be spent improving the group's performance as a whole, not spent going over parts that people should be able to play individually by now. You learn how to do it, then you spend the rest of the semester improving it and making it work together. That's how an ensemble operates. I feel like a laughing stock sometimes because the guitar majors are typically thought of as bottom of the barrel when it comes to "real musicians" in the school. The slack nature of the guitarists here only further supports that belief among the other music majors and professors alike.
I hate where I live. I live on THE other end of campus from all my classes. It's a 20+ minute walk to any of them. Half the time I'm dragging my guitar along as well. Down a hill, up a hill, down a hill again and crossing streets. That's just one way. It really annoys me when I get there, and that class has been canceled, or we only stay for 10 minutes before being dismissed.
Almost every day I think "This is going to get better. Next semester is when it's going to happen. My classes will be better, I'll learn a little bit more, I'll enjoy it a little bit more." But it never happens. I'm putting forth the effort, but the results I get are usually not what I want. Is this really what school is about? Am I just supposed to eventually figure out that the things that I want are unattainable, even when I do what is required and more? Do the people that don't deserve it get the things I want? Every day it seems more and more that way. My morals, beliefs, integrity and zest for life seem to be unrecognized these days. The world is in one big hurry to its own demise. Maybe when that time comes, I'll be the one left standing.