excerpt from 'norwegian wood' by haruki murakami
"there were sides to nagasawa's personality that conflicted in the extreme. even i would be moved by his kindness at times, but he could, just as easily, be malicious and cruel. he was both a spirit of amazing loftiness and an irredeemable man of the gutter. he could charge forward, the optimistic leader, even as his heart writhed in a swamp of loneliness. i saw these paradoxical qualities of his from the start, and i could never understand why they werent just as obvious to everyone else. he lived in his own special hell."