insecure
So my boyfriend is working on this big huge interesting project, and I`m divided on how I feel about it. On one hand, I`m happy because if he gets rich, and he actually does love me, then maybe he`ll support me and I can quit my crappy job for a while. Every day as I go to work, I see all these pretty, well off stay at home moms with their cute, well dressed babies and their ginormous rings and it makes me want to die a little. it makes me want to fling myself onto the street and end it all. Am I really so awful that no one wants to marry me, that no one wants me to have their babies. It`s all very sad. Anyway, so on the other hand I know that this will make him more confident and he`ll meet new people and he`ll meet someone that`s prettier and thinner and smarter and more awesome than me in every respect and he`ll fall out of love with me and leave me. I don`t think he`ll cheat on me because that`s not his way...but leave me, definitely. I feel like I`m in that Shakira song.....
She's got the kind of look that defies gravity
She's the greatest cook
And she's fat free
She's been to private school
And she speaks perfect French
She's got the perfect friends
Oh isn't she cool
She practices Tai Chi
She'd never lose her nerve
She's more than you deserve
She's just far better than me
Hey hey
So don't bother
I won't die of deception
I promise you won't ever see me cry
Don't feel sorry
And don't bother
I'll be fine
But she's waiting
The ring you gave to her will lose its shine
So don't bother, be unkind
I'm sure she doesn't know
How to touch you like I would
I beat her at that one good
Don't you think so?
She's almost 6 feet tall
She must think I'm a flea
I'm really a cat you see
And it's not my last life at all
Hey hey
So don't bother
I won't die of deception
I promise you won't ever see me cry
Don't feel sorry
Don't bother
I'll be fine
But she's waiting
The ring you gave to her will lose its shine
So don't bother, be unkind
For you, I'd give up all I own
And move to a communist country
If you came with me, of course
And I'd file my nails so they don't hurt you
And lose those pounds, and learn about football
If it made you stay, but you won't, but you won't
So don't bother,
I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine
Promise you won't ever see me cry
And after all I'm glad that I'm not your type
Promise you won't ever see me cry
So don't bother,
I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine
Promise you won't ever see me cry
And after all I'm glad that I'm not your type, not your type, not your type, not your type
Promise you won't ever see me cry
...whoa, I didn`t realize how sad that song is. It`s true though, I`m not his type. I don`t loath religion, I don`t understand what html and drupal are, I don`t play an instrument, I don`t draw, or paint, or write, or love video games. I just love him. And in my heart I know it has to end, because I don`t love him enough to settle, and he`s not capable of loving anything very much. So I guess we`ll slowly drift apart from one another, and hopefully by the time it ends, I`m over him. I hope he never gets over me. I hope I leave him a broken, empty, soulless shell of a man, because I`ll be really pissed that if my leaving him opens the floodgates of his emotions and he shares it with the next girl.
my eyes are burning.
She's got the kind of look that defies gravity
She's the greatest cook
And she's fat free
She's been to private school
And she speaks perfect French
She's got the perfect friends
Oh isn't she cool
She practices Tai Chi
She'd never lose her nerve
She's more than you deserve
She's just far better than me
Hey hey
So don't bother
I won't die of deception
I promise you won't ever see me cry
Don't feel sorry
And don't bother
I'll be fine
But she's waiting
The ring you gave to her will lose its shine
So don't bother, be unkind
I'm sure she doesn't know
How to touch you like I would
I beat her at that one good
Don't you think so?
She's almost 6 feet tall
She must think I'm a flea
I'm really a cat you see
And it's not my last life at all
Hey hey
So don't bother
I won't die of deception
I promise you won't ever see me cry
Don't feel sorry
Don't bother
I'll be fine
But she's waiting
The ring you gave to her will lose its shine
So don't bother, be unkind
For you, I'd give up all I own
And move to a communist country
If you came with me, of course
And I'd file my nails so they don't hurt you
And lose those pounds, and learn about football
If it made you stay, but you won't, but you won't
So don't bother,
I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine
Promise you won't ever see me cry
And after all I'm glad that I'm not your type
Promise you won't ever see me cry
So don't bother,
I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine
Promise you won't ever see me cry
And after all I'm glad that I'm not your type, not your type, not your type, not your type
Promise you won't ever see me cry
...whoa, I didn`t realize how sad that song is. It`s true though, I`m not his type. I don`t loath religion, I don`t understand what html and drupal are, I don`t play an instrument, I don`t draw, or paint, or write, or love video games. I just love him. And in my heart I know it has to end, because I don`t love him enough to settle, and he`s not capable of loving anything very much. So I guess we`ll slowly drift apart from one another, and hopefully by the time it ends, I`m over him. I hope he never gets over me. I hope I leave him a broken, empty, soulless shell of a man, because I`ll be really pissed that if my leaving him opens the floodgates of his emotions and he shares it with the next girl.
my eyes are burning.